Tea Party: Five Years of Trying to Kick the U.S. Back to 1914

by Sunnyjane

They fell down the rabbit hole and, like all of the Lagomorha species, they breed  recklessly.

I've known a few five-year-olds in my lifetime, and trust me, they were far more mature -- and knowledgeable -- than the current lifeforms who make up the Teabagger brigade.  If it was really God who, um, creationized these particular cretins, He should be sued for producing a dangerous product.  He could have at least attached a warning label:  Caution!  Intelligence not included.

Remember, it was the Tea Partiers who said that President Obama won a second term in 2012 because Mitt Romney was chosen by mushy-middle Republicans and he was not conservative enough.  Their model of the perfect candidate, of course, is Ted Cruz. 


Celebrate Good Times, Come On!

Yeah, and get a job and an education, too, you lazy taker!

So how did those loyal Tea Party Patriots celebrate their fifth natal anniversary?  In the most noble way, of course -- by blocking a bill that would have increased federal healthcare and education programs for veterans.  Well, see, they blocked the bill because the $24 billion cost would have bankrupted the budget.   (Too bad that not even one Democrat in the Senate reminded them that the sixteen-day government shutdown orchestrated by Tea Party Rethuglicans cost the country between $24 and $25 billion last year.)

This is not the first time the Tea Party Patriots have been responsible for denying benefits to veterans.  In 2012, they refused to approve a much-needed Cost of Living Allowance increase and they would not pass a Veterans Jobs Bill.  Where's the spoutrage from the Dipshit Denizen of the Desert when her brave men and women in uniform are treated this poorly? Her silence is so profound that you could hear her pet scorpion wee-weeing under a rock.  Well it's obvious that Sarah doesn't give a damn about veterans who don't get enough to eat, don't get an education, and don't have the medical care they desperately need and deserve; she just gets off on the uniforms.  You'll remember the over-the-top ranting hypocrisy displayed by Palin and Ted Cruz when, because of the government shutdown Cruz himself caused, the World War II memorial had to be closed.  

Do these people not understand how it makes them look when they deny veterans essential benefits while beating the drums of war -- again?

A Sad Day When Persecution of Gays is No Longer a Religious Liberty 

There are women in that equation these days, too, Ms. Lee.

You don't always get that pony you longed for on your fifth birthday.  Such was the case when Gov. Jan Brewer of Arizona bowed to enormous economic pressure and vetoed SB 1062, which would have made it legal for a business to refuse service to any individual based on the proprietor's religious beliefs.  (Translation: You got every right to kick them heathen queers out of your greasy spoon eatery.) 

Did the legislature in the Grand Canyon state pass this bill because it was in desperate need of a law that would protect its citizens from encroaching progressive schemes that would further attack their far-right Christian sensibilities?  Hardly.  In Phoenix, the incubation period for an anti-anything-that-smells-of-broadminded bill to be born is about thirty-three seconds.  It's mostly the Center for Arizona Policy (CAP) that provides the egg and sperm for these religious freedom laws-in-waiting, of course.  CAP is an über-conservative bill-mill that has drafted or heartily supported more than a hundred-and-twenty such bills as SB1062; and more are in the birth canal as we speak. They have just giddily announced that Fox News's resident conservative intellectual, Charles Krauthammer, will be their family night speaker in May.  (Oh goody.)

Replacing Obamacare: A Game-Changing Idea Emerges

 A foolish consistency is the hobgoblin of little minds, adored by little statesmen, philosophers, and divines.  Ralph Waldo Emerson

For five years now, the Tea Party Republicans have promised...and promised...and promised their constituents that they will repeal the President's Affordable Care Act and replace it with their own healthcare bill.  They have been unable to do either.  Voting forty times to repeal it didn't exactly get the job done.  And their hand-wringing, teeth-gnashing attempts at an alternative plan have gone nowhere: that particular boat doesn't seem to float.

Jason Linkins at The Huffington Post recently put together the best synopsis of the GOP's efforts to come up with something better than the ACA that I've ever read.  Perhaps inaptly titled A Brief History Of The Republican Alternative To Obamacare, it is well researched and full of well-sourced links.  (Had I taken on such a challenge, I would now be crouched in a corner mumbling incoherently about anchovy and green pepper jelly sandwiches.)

The author's repeated phrase A Game-Changing Idea Emerges is well used to demonstrate how many times the Republicans have announced that We Have a Plan!  only to have said plan never reach the light of day.  BUT!  Just last week, Eric Cantor decided that the plan now being put together is, indeed, the game-changer.  Well, if you can believe that this exchange gives one any confidence that he's not just blowing smoke out of his nether-region body opening: 

Our members are going to get very excited if we can provide alternatives, not just be a party that's against whatever the president is for.

And:

We may have an opportunity for an alternative to be put in place.
  
CPAC:  A More Inclusive GOP for 2014?  Snort!

All Neanderthals will be welcomed with open arms!

With restrictions, the Conservative Political Action Conference is once again allowing GOProud -- an LGBT advocate group -- to attend their precious conference during March.  But, the LGBTers are prohibited from either being a sponsor or having a booth.  (Translation: Just to show how tolerant we are (and how much we need your votes) you weirdos can be seen, but not heard.)

However, an atheist group had their acceptance unceremoniously yanked.  Can't have a bunch of non-believers infringing on the God-Botherers' hate fest, now can they?  Forget that a CPAC spokesperson had already said that the group was welcome because conservatives have always stood for freedom of religion and freedom of expression.  Uh huh.  The far right immediately went batshit crazy and twenty-four hours later, the atheist group was persona non grata. 

But never mind all that, dear readers, because most of the usual suspects will be in attendance, including scandal-ridden Big Boy, Chris Christie.  (They wouldn't let him come last year because he hugged the President.  What, do you have to be under federal investigation to get an invitation to this shindig?)  And of course their token minority, Dr. Ben Carson, will be in attendance. 

Exciting news, though!  Out of the twenty-five speakers, three will be We love you womenz!  Will those three include up-and-comers like Rep. Cathy McMorris Rodgers, governors Suzanna Martinez and Nikki Haley, or Sen. Kelly Ayotte?  Um, no.

The female luminaries will be Tea Party Patriots President Jenny Beth Martin and current chairperson of the American Conservative Union Foundation Carly Fiorina. The awkwardly bewigged and coarsely dressed Sarah Palin will screech on a broad range of topics, including The Importance of Teaming With Earthworms in Fungible Commodities to Ensure America's Supply of Mom Jeans.  She will also urge conferees to see the Academy Awards' Best Picture of 2014, 12 Years a Slave, since it's all about her assertion that the U.S. will become a slave to China in twelve years because of Obama's never-ending assertion that we need to raise the debt ceiling.


End Note