Wednesday, April 9, 2014

On Ukraine: The Gospel According to Sarah Palin and Mitt Romney

by Sunnyjane

 A Hymn to Her:  Mouth Almighty, Tongue Eternal
Hi ya, John!  I'll be able to see Putin rearin' his head in Ukraine some day!
Dear Quitter Half-Term Governor Palin:

Congratulations on proving once again that you can be wrong more often than a stopped clock.  That's quite an accomplishment, and one for which you should be commended.  Your heart-stopping prediction that Vladimir Putin would invade Ukraine if Barack Obama became president in 2008 turned out, typically, to be an abject FAILURE.  You made this statement when, in August of that election year, Putin took over Georgia.  And what did then-President George W. Bush do to combat that situation?  He went on a two-week vacation to Crawford, Texas, and cleared brush off his ranch, or something like that.  Did you mention that during the campaign?  No, I didn't think so.   But you insisted that Sen. Obama's indecision and moral equivalency would embolden Putin to try the same thing in Ukraine.  (Since moral equivalency makes no sense whatsoever, I'll help you out here: I'm pretty certain that you meant moral equivocation.  There, fixed it for ya.  You're welcome.)

In your characteristic frequently-wrong-but-never-in-doubt style, you took your I Told Ya So victory lap a tad prematurely on Facebook and Fraud News.  Instead of advocating a military solution to every regional ruckus in the world, the President has spent the first five years of his two terms (he was, you'll remember, reelected in 2012) building peaceful coalitions around the world, including NATO and the European Union.  As a result, he was able to quickly bring those parties together to sanction Putin -- and threaten more and tougher sanctions should that need arise.  Not a nuke was fired, there was no military intervention, no war, not even a squirmish, as you so astutely screeched. So much for that communications-journalism-just-showed-up-for-classes degree you claim.

Eleven days after President Obama initiated sanctions against Russia, Putin called him to ask for a diplomatic resolution to the crisis.  Sanctions, Sarah, get it?  Not one U.S. soldier had to deploy to a foreign country.  No one got wounded, maimed, or killed.  See how it works when you have an intelligent adult in the White House?

Can we hear some more about how President Obama is gutting our military?
When the foreign press calls you a traitor, Quitter, you know you've got problems.  Even Pravda can't stand you, as you may recall from late 2010: To attack the President of the country at a time when the USA needs to close ranks and stand together to consolidate the enormous strides President Obama’s intelligent and respectful approach has achieved in building bridges, when her party’s period in government bombed them, ...Sarah Palin comes across as a pitifully inadequate anachronism from the times of the Far West. 

So why don't you just stick to endorsing losers like the hog nut-cutter from Iowa.  Considering Ernst's record for not being present to vote in the state Senate, it seems to me that Iowa might be better off sending the ball-less swine to Washington.  He'd fit right in with his fellow Tea Party Republicans.

A Hymn to Him: Lord, Hear Me While I Bray

Romney:  What Bush did was the right thing for the country!
Dear Former Governor Never-Ever-going-to-be-president Romney:

Congratulations on possessing such an outstandingly negative sense of timing.  Combined with a decided lack of geopolitical savvy, a Romney presidency would have set this country back to the George W. Bush era, when he was the most unpopular president in modern history.  In 2012, two months before the election, your shoot-first/aim-later timing on the situation in Libya was so premature that President Obama had to rebuke you for not understanding how important it is to make sure the statements a president makes are backed up by the facts, and that he understands the consequences before he makes them.  You were running for his office and you didn't understand that?

So when the Ukraine situation came along, you obviously decided to take the President's schooling to heart; bad timing again.  On March 23, you appeared on Face the Nation and criticized President Obama for his naiveté in not understanding Putin's intentions regarding The Ukraine.  (Actually, that country has not been The Ukraine since 1991, when it declared its independence; do try to keep up.)  You also intimated that had Obama taken strong military action in Syria, Libya, and Crimea, the situation in Ukraine might not have happened, and further added that our international reputation was the worst it has ever been.  It took Sen. Dick Durbin to dispel you of that particular notion: Governor Romney's suffering from political amnesia. Does he remember the reaction of the rest of the world to our invasion of Iraq? The fact is that many of our stalwart allies of the past thought it was a terrible decision. What President Obama has done is restore working relationships.  You see, the President had been working to clean up the mess W made and as a result, NATO and the European Union were behind the President one hundred percent.  Oh, yeah, and the G8 is now the G7.

And then, in all your wisdom, you said that the President should use strong sanctions against Russia.  Well, you're still not in the game, Governor; the President did that on March 17.  And guess what?  Five days later, Putin called President Obama and asked for a diplomatic solution to the crisis in Ukraine.  See, this is called being a 21st Century president.  George W. Bush didn't understand that either, and look where it got us.

I love firing people.  I love trees that are the right height.  I love pissing off the Brits.
Like Sarah Palin and John McCain, you haven't learned a damn thing about leadership -- or statesmanship -- since running for high office.  Your little trip abroad in 2012 should have taught you how unqualified you are to be President of the United States.

Hardly had the wheels of your airplane tucked themselves into their little hidey-hole when one of your advisers told a British newspaper reporter that Obama has not been an effective partner for Britain because he doesn’t “fully appreciate” America’s “Anglo-Saxon heritage."  What a stupid, racially provocative thing to say, especially since many Americans are not of Anglo-Saxon heritage.   Not to mention that President Obama has an excellent rapport with the U.K.

In London you managed to insult our closest ally by questioning their preparedness for the Olympics.  And you committed a major diplomatic faux pas by telling the press that you had met with the head of MI6.  This is simply not done in the UK, Mitt, and you should have known that.

It got worse -- if possible -- in Israel.  Even with Sheldon Adelson along to hold your hand, you managed to schedule a $50,000 per plate fundraiser on one of the holiest days in Israel, Tisha B'Av, a national day of fasting.  Then again, speaking to a group of donors, you managed to insult the Palestinians -- and further irritate the Israelis -- by saying that there was a dramatically stark difference in economic vitality between the Jewish state and the occupied territories because of their culture.

Finally getting that fiasco behind you, you went to Poland where one of your staff told a reporter to Kiss my ass.  Now I know it's sometimes difficult, especially after such an already awful trip, not to feel like telling someone to kiss my ass.  But in front of an international press corps?  Not too smart.

Oh, some worse news, Mitt:  Your test for Foot-In-Mouth Disease came back positive.  There's no cure.

End Note

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