Wednesday, April 23, 2014

The Sarah Palin 'Kiss of Death' Endorsements for 2014

by Sunnyjane

Her endorsements are as toxic as West Virginia water.  Good luck, grizzlies!

Besides being paid and trying to shellac herself with a facade of relevance, why is Sarah Palin endorsing a bunch of loser, has-been, never-will-be, and otherwise inexperienced candidates this year?  Couple of reasons, I think.  First, she cannot run for any office herself and risk a rehash of how ill-informed and actually stupid she is.  Alaska wants no part of her, and Arizona won't give her the time of day.  Second, she'd love to screw over establishments Republicans by getting some ditzy, highly unqualified Tea Party types in the House and Senate.  After all, she's made it perfectly clear that Ted Cruz needs reinforcements in Washington.

Though in her long history of endorsements Palin has had a few victories, her record ain't that great.  Basically, she's all puff and no powder.

Early Victim Succumbs to Palin Kiss of Death

No, to a customer unless you promise to vote three or four times.
Since teleportation has not quite been perfected yet -- it's that rascally old science thingy of moving molecules and atoms and stuff -- voters in Florida wondered how it was possible for Lizabeth Benacquisto to be slinging barbeque with Sarah Palin in one place and voting in the Florida statehouse at the same time.  That's taking multi-tasking to a whole new level.  Tut, tut!  Gov. Rick Scott is so concerned about voter fraud in his state, but he'd best look at the habits of his lawmakers before he continues his purge of the voter rolls.

Anyhow, Benacquisto lost her primary bid in the contest to take coke-snorting Tray Radel's congressional seat that's up for grabs since his resignation in January.

Another one bites the dust.

Porky Pig Threatened by Tea Party Candidate!

Good times a'comin' in the Corn State, folks!  We're bringing out the big desk drawers for Ernst! 
In Iowa, Joni Ernst also seems to have a little, um, problem doing the job for which she was elected.  Ernst doesn't try to be in two places at once, no sir!  She simply doesn't show up to vote -- 117 times.  After being called out about these missing-in-action periods, Ernst said that her responsibilities in the Iowa Army National Guard were the reason.  Well, it did not take much to find that her National Guard duties only accounted for about twelve days.  (What don't these lying fools understand about research?)  The other absences were because -- wait for it; this is disastrous for female candidates -- juggling roles as a wife and mother ... a state senator, and a very, very tough competitive race for the United States Senate.

So if she's too busy to be a responsible senator in her own state, how does she intend to do the job in Washington?  She may well have been, at one time, a hog-castration maven down on the farm, but there's more to the job of senator in Washington, D. C.  Or, given the Republicans' determination not to actually do anything for the American people, perhaps she would fit right in.

Take those hog cajones to D. C., Joni!

A Quitter Endorses a Quitter -- You Can't Make This Stuff Up

I wonder when she quit washing her face and her wig?
One has to assume that Karen Handel has had her anti-Palin KOD shots this time around.  But don't bet your 401(K) on it; Obamacare doesn't cover those.

Handel's reputation as a quitter and loser precedes her.  She was Georgia Secretry of State from 2007 to 2010.  When announcing her endorsement of Handel recently for U.S. Senate, Palin made the laudatory statement that, You know her background, you know her record. The conservative who has walked the walk. Cutting budgets, not raising taxes, how often do you see that in government?  The problem is, the Secretary of State has nothing to do with taxes or budgets, so Handel does not have a record on those issues.  (Have I ever mentioned that Palin is stupid?  Yes, I thought I had.)

So then Handel quit the SoS job in 2010 to run for the Georgia governorship, and Palin endorsed her then.  She lost.  The Susan J. Komen Race for the Cure was Handel's next gig, where she was the prime instigator in the plan for Komen to stop awarding grants to Planned Parenthood for breast cancer screenings.  Little investigation was required to learn that her real motive was to see that the women's health organization did not provide funding for abortions.  There ensued the Mother of All Backlashes over this action, and Handel quit not long thereafter.  Komen reversed the decision later and began funding Planned Parenthood again.

Handel then went on to write a book titled Planned Bullyhood, condemning Planned Parenthood.  It ranks  #715,820 on Amazon.  (Heh.)

End Note

No comments:

Post a Comment