Thursday, June 5, 2014

The Far Right Still Can't Work and Play Well with Others

 by Sunnyjane

I've been punked -- again.  I actually believed that we would have a couple days of Republican Tea Party sanity and I could write a post that didn't have to call out their idiocies.  Alas, such was not to be; there seems to be no end to it.  The Tea Party is still calling a lot of the shots -- they're like that adorable litter of puppies you brought home and didn't bother to discipline right from the beginning: for a while it's terribly amusing, and then they become snarling, snapping ankle-biters who destroy everything you hold dear. 

We might as well jump right in and see what they've been up to for the past week or so.

What in the Hell is Wrong with Kentucky Politicians?

Git yer muskets, boys, Obamacare and Same-Sex Marriage is a-comin' over the mountains!
At the risk of insulting otherwise normal Kentuckians, I must say you are bedeviled by the most peculiar politicians in the country -- and they're not all Republicans.  Mitch McConnell doesy-doed to the right to win the primary over Matt Bevin, and now he's doing the two-step back toward the middle -- well, as middle as McConnell can possibly go.  Obamacare has him confused, you see, because even though he has promised to rip out the country's first healthcare program root-and-branch, he understands that going on half a million Bluegrassers are feeling pretty A-OK about having affordable health insurance for the first time in their lives.  So, he's announced that while he's still going to do his garden surgery on the ACA, he'll be glad to leave Kynect -- the state's health exchange program -- alone because, after all, the two are not connected.  Now is Mitch stupid, or does he think the citizens of his state are stupid?  And then there's Rand Paul, who thinks the whole thing about keeping Kynect and repealing Obamacare is a technical question.  Democrat Alison Grimes, who wants to win McConnell's seat in the senate, keeps peeking around her hoop skirted petticoat to see which way the wind is blowing on the issue -- which is exactly what Mitchie and Randy want her to do.  Good Lord, Alison, don't bother to call them out on this idiocy by telling the voters that Paul and McConnell will take their healthcare away from them.   

But it doesn't end there.  Democratic Governor Steve Beshear is in court defending his state's decision to continue the ban on same-six marriage because -- wait for it -- same sex couples can't produce children and he's concerned that not having couples produce children will be detrimental to increasing the state's population.  What!  He governs one of the poorest states in the nation and he wants more of the same?      

Perhaps this, um, strangeness is due to the fact that Kentuckians live in a two-time-zone state; that might tend to make you sort of weird, I admit.

Here a Gun, There a Gun, Everywhere a Gun-Gun

But if you had Obamacare, your insurance might pay for a penis pump.
The narrow-minded -- and small-membered -- population in this country have gone off the freaking rails with their God-given right (huh?) to carry weapons of mass destruction in public.  They pay no attention to the adage of Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.  Folks trying to sip their lattes or scoff down their burritos have protested to the point that businesses in open-carry states have had to post signs on their doors saying Leave Your Penis Extender in Your Vehicle, Idiot.

After the latest shooting in California, Joni Ernst was asked if she would take down her gun-riddled campaign ads.  She responded to the effect that shooting six people was an unfortunate accident, but her ads proved that she's a Second Amendment advocate, so, NOPE, she would not take down those ads.

Joe Not-a-Joe-Not-a-Plumber puffed himself up and declared that his right to own a gun was more important that some dead kid.  He then doubled down on that and said guns were for hunting down politicians who would take away his freedoms; obviously another male idiot lacking muscle in the family-jewels department.

Some yahoo in Alabama decided he needed his handgun and two magazines of ammo to vote in a recent Republican (naturally) primary.  Since a church was acting as the polling place for said primary, there was a sign on the door that clearly stated that guns would not be allowed.  He protested.  To no avail.  A deputy was called.  Voter put his gun back in his truck.  He's going to complain.  So there!  Hmpf!

The NRA initially wrote on its blog page that carrying weapons around just for the attention it garnered its owners was weird.  In about two days they walked that back, blaming the confusion on a hapless staff member.   

There's a Pond in Texas That's Missing its Scum

Holmes and Cruz: Racist Comrades in Arms
If the mere sight of this individual doesn't make you want to hurl your cookies, you might want to seek professional counseling.  No, seriously. 

Because President Obama refused to negotiate on a House budget that would repeal the Affordable Care Act last year, Canadian Senator Senor Rafael Edward Cruz got himself in a snit and decided to shut down the United States government for seventeen days -- to the tune of about $24 BILLION.  He then refused to admit his prominent role in that fiasco, blaming Obama and Harry Reid.   Fast forward: Rafael Edward now is taking full credit for the shutdown, and believes that, because of his leadership, the shutdown is going to allow the Republicans to take over the Senate and increase their membership in the House.

Oh, he's also spewing the meme that because the Democrats are trying to get an amendment to override the Supreme Court's decision on campaign spending, that they're going to ban books and movies.  Yes, seriously!  

On the Lighter Side...

 A new study just released says that Americans learn more about the news from Stephen Colbert than they do from mainstream news channels.  What does that tell us?

Joni Ernst won the Republican primary election in Iowa.  Now she's one step closer to going  to Washington to shoot a hog and castrate Obamacare -- or something like that.  However, Steve Lonegan did not win in New Jersey, which couldn't have been a outcome time for him, given that he's a real loser.  Why, the last time he lost, he rudely pushed his wife's hand off his shoulder during his concession speech.  I guess that taught HER a lesson, by golly!

Don't touch me, bitch!
With their math teacher's help, sixth graders in Massachusetts have sent the Department of Education a bill for more than $1,600 as payment for being used as guinea pigs to test the Standard of Learning exams for a private company.  Now that's thinking, kids!

And speaking of guinea pigs, there's a home schooling expert who believes that sex education is a liberal plot to desensitize children to sex.  This leads to no bonding in marriage, which leads to unstable and broken marriages, and when that happens, they all vote Democratic.  Instead, she recommends letting kids see guinea pigs doing it, because you can't really see anything: You really couldn’t see anything because they’re big, furry little fuzzball things. I mean, that’s why there isn’t guinea pig porn movies.  (Pardon me, but you can't make this shit up.)

And speaking of sex, Pat Robertson believes that if your husband washes dishes, you owe him a roll in the hay.  No word on what you owe if he only puts the crockery in the dishwasher.

Good news!  If God tells him to, Herman Cain will run for president in 2016.  I guess Herb didn't get the text messages God sent him in 2012.

Some anti-gay Christian groups are refusing to accept mail with Harvey Milk postage stamps on it.  Well, that will certainly show those gays a thing or two!

Not-Ready-For-Prime-Time GOPer Terri Lynn Land, who's running for something or other in Michigan, became so flustered while being questioned by reporters that she exclaimed, I can't do this!   Ain't that a hoot?

End Note

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