Elections 2014: Two Senate and One Governor Wannabes and Shouldn'tbes

by Sunnyjane

We're just three Tuesdays away from election day, and the Silly Season has morphed into the Pathetic Period.  The Silly Season officially began the day John Boehner's first tax-payer- financed lawyer bailed on him and the Big B decided it would be smart to hire the lawyer who lost Bob McDonnell's corruption case.  This circus stunt, of course, is merely a desperate ploy to earn votes for Republican Tea Party candidates on November 4.  Because, you know, those Benghazi/Obamacare/IRS thingies didn't work out too well.

The Pathetic Period took off when, in a debate with her Democratic opponent, one GOP candidate pivoted from a question she didn't want to answer and accused her challenger of suing a neighbor whose pet chickens had pooped in his yard. Pathetic.

One interesting bit to know while you're reading about a couple of the races for this mid-term election:  The Senate Conservatives Fund, which was set up by skanky old Jim DeMint before he skedaddled away to make his millions as president of The Heritage Foundation, is not having a very good year.  For some unfathomable reason, the SCF hired former Virginia attorney general and failed (thank God) gubernatorial candidate Ken Cuccinelli to be its new leader.  Of the six candidates the SCF shoved money at, three lost their primaries: T. W. Shannon (OK), Chris McDaniel (MS), and Milton Wolf (KS).  The other one, Rob Maness of Louisiana, is expected to lose to either Democrat Mary Landrieu or the other Republican candidate, Bill Cassidy. (Louisiana is a weird state; it will hold a jungle primary on November 4, and the top two candidates will be voted on in a runoff election on December 6.  Either way, Maness, a Palin endorsee, is gonna lose.  Heh.) So how's it going there for you, Cooch?

Since there are a gazillion House races and thirty-three Senate races, we'll only look at a couple of the more interesting ones.      

Deep in the Heart of Texas: Abbott v. Davis for Governor

Proving that you can shine shit for fun and profit.

The issue that got the attention of Democrats nationwide was Texas state senator Wendy Davis's noble filibuster effort to stop the legislature from passing a grossly restrictive abortion bill in 2013.  The bill passed anyhow, much to the delight of conservatives everywhere.  However, appeals have bounced around the Texas courts so many times since then that I'm not sure where it stands today; the latest decision on whether or not the restrictions on abortion clinics are too severe seems to change hourly.  But this is known: of the forty-four clinics currently operating, all but eight will have to close if the bill is upheld.

To Greg Abbott, forcing women who choose to obtain an abortion to drive 250 miles is merely a slight inconvenience, but a manageable one.  I guess it's according to how you define manageable.

Lest we be lulled into believing that shutting down women's clinics is all about being pro-life and, ahem, all concerned about the health and safety of female Texans, there's another side to this story: it's called PROFIT.  And who would profit from these restrictions?  None other than Gov. Rick Perry's sister, Milla Perry Jones, who is on the board of the doctors-owned Texas Ambulatory Surgical Center Society, which runs 420 clinics throughout Texas.  Since the need for abortions is not likely to go down, this little group could make tons of money, i.e., profit, by charging a higher fee than the shut-down clinics did.  See?  You knew it had to be about the money, didn't you?

On teh gays gettin' married, one of Abbott's arguments for banning such a thing is that it would reduce out-of-wedlock births.  (I thought that was contraception's job, but perhaps I'm wrong.)  Now I have no earthly idea what judge would accept that explanation as sound reasoning, but if it can be done, it will be done in Texas.

The current polls are inconclusive on this race, but most have Abbott leading by single digits.  It's extremely important that women and minorities vote on November 4.

The Bluegrass State:  McConnell v. Grimes for Senate
 

I'm not a scientist, but I'm right there with Paul Ryan when it comes to budgets!

It may well be called the bluegrass state, but politically it's redder than Rudolph's nose on Christmas Eve.  Despite the fact that Kentuckians detest Mitch McConnell, Democratic candidate Alison Grimes has an uphill battle on her hands.

One reason Mitch wants to become Senate Majority Leader is so that he and his senate cronies can shut down the government again, because, you know, it was such a $25 Billion success the first time.  And as Michael Tomasky wrote just recently concerning the debate, Le Turtle has an astounding ability to lie, dissemble, and misrepresent himself to voters.   The entire debate between the incumbent and Grimes should have convinced his constituents that Mitch is full of crap and needs to be replaced.  Now I don't know whether McConnell is stupid or if he thinks Kentuckians are stupid, but his response to the question on Obamacare was the epitome of contempt.  He hates it, and taking a line from Ted Cruz, he'd rip it apart branch and root.  But, he'd let his citizens have their little website -- Kynect -- if they wanted to keep it.  Gee, thanks Uncle Mitch!  Idiot.

For her part, at least Alison Grimes stated that there was no way she would take affordable health care away from five hundred thousand Kentuckians who had it under Kynect. 

When Grimes refused to answer if she had voted for President Obama in 2008 and 2012, GOPers pounced like vultures on two-week-old roadkill in August.  Even Chuck Todd, newly anointed anchor of Sunday morning's Meet My Good Republican Friends Meet the Press, asked if not responding to that question disqualifies her.  It makes one wonder where Chuck Todd was in 2012 when Mitt Romney refused to answer questions about what policies he would propose on various issues, oh, like the following:  refusing to answer questions on Richard Mourdock's belief that a baby conceived through rape was something God planned; or refusing fourteen times to respond to questions right after hurricane Sandy on whether he would still get rid of FEMA and turn disaster relief over to the states and private sector groups; and  his refusal to answer what tax loopholes he would close, what he would do about immigration reform, his stand on the NRA, etc.  You really wanna talk about disqualifying a candidate, Chuck?  You really wanna go there?

Some polls have Grimes up in this race.

The Motor City State: Land v. Peters for Senate

I don't always run for the U.S. Senate, but when I do, I blow $6 Million of the Kochs' money!

She wasn't anybody's first choice, and now we're seeing why, said an in-the-know GOPer of Terry Lynn Land's candidacy.  Land is running against Democrat Gary Peters in Michigan's race for the U.S. Senate seat of Democrat Carl Levin, who is retiring after this term.

By most accounts, Land is simply not ready for prime time.  She's uncomfortable campaigning, has been called the invisible candidate, and once said I can't do this! when being questioned by a group of reporters.

Things got so bad that in mid-August the Kochs pulled their $1.1 Million dollar ad blitz for her.  And just recently, the National Republican Senatorial Committee left her all-dressed-up-and-no-place-to-go by yanking back an $850,000 ad campaign.

Needless to say, Gary Peters is ahead in this race with a 42 - 33 lead.

End Note

And don't let any new ones in!

(We will continue to look at Senate and House races until Election Day)

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Please note that due to a glitch in the Matrix, the first version of this post and the comments disappeared. We apologize for any inconvenience! :-)

The Far Right Still Can't Work and Play Well with Others

 by Sunnyjane

I've been punked -- again.  I actually believed that we would have a couple days of Republican Tea Party sanity and I could write a post that didn't have to call out their idiocies.  Alas, such was not to be; there seems to be no end to it.  The Tea Party is still calling a lot of the shots -- they're like that adorable litter of puppies you brought home and didn't bother to discipline right from the beginning: for a while it's terribly amusing, and then they become snarling, snapping ankle-biters who destroy everything you hold dear. 

We might as well jump right in and see what they've been up to for the past week or so.

What in the Hell is Wrong with Kentucky Politicians?

Git yer muskets, boys, Obamacare and Same-Sex Marriage is a-comin' over the mountains!

At the risk of insulting otherwise normal Kentuckians, I must say you are bedeviled by the most peculiar politicians in the country -- and they're not all Republicans.  Mitch McConnell doesy-doed to the right to win the primary over Matt Bevin, and now he's doing the two-step back toward the middle -- well, as middle as McConnell can possibly go.  Obamacare has him confused, you see, because even though he has promised to rip out the country's first healthcare program root-and-branch, he understands that going on half a million Bluegrassers are feeling pretty A-OK about having affordable health insurance for the first time in their lives.  So, he's announced that while he's still going to do his garden surgery on the ACA, he'll be glad to leave Kynect -- the state's health exchange program -- alone because, after all, the two are not connected.  Now is Mitch stupid, or does he think the citizens of his state are stupid?  And then there's Rand Paul, who thinks the whole thing about keeping Kynect and repealing Obamacare is a technical question.  Democrat Alison Grimes, who wants to win McConnell's seat in the senate, keeps peeking around her hoop skirted petticoat to see which way the wind is blowing on the issue -- which is exactly what Mitchie and Randy want her to do.  Good Lord, Alison, don't bother to call them out on this idiocy by telling the voters that Paul and McConnell will take their healthcare away from them.   

But it doesn't end there.  Democratic Governor Steve Beshear is in court defending his state's decision to continue the ban on same-six marriage because -- wait for it -- same sex couples can't produce children and he's concerned that not having couples produce children will be detrimental to increasing the state's population.  What!  He governs one of the poorest states in the nation and he wants more of the same?      

Perhaps this, um, strangeness is due to the fact that Kentuckians live in a two-time-zone state; that might tend to make you sort of weird, I admit.

Here a Gun, There a Gun, Everywhere a Gun-Gun

But if you had Obamacare, your insurance might pay for a penis pump.

The narrow-minded -- and small-membered -- population in this country have gone off the freaking rails with their God-given right (huh?) to carry weapons of mass destruction in public.  They pay no attention to the adage of Just because you can, doesn't mean you should.  Folks trying to sip their lattes or scoff down their burritos have protested to the point that businesses in open-carry states have had to post signs on their doors saying Leave Your Penis Extender in Your Vehicle, Idiot.

After the latest shooting in California, Joni Ernst was asked if she would take down her gun-riddled campaign ads.  She responded to the effect that shooting six people was an unfortunate accident, but her ads proved that she's a Second Amendment advocate, so, NOPE, she would not take down those ads.

Joe Not-a-Joe-Not-a-Plumber puffed himself up and declared that his right to own a gun was more important that some dead kid.  He then doubled down on that and said guns were for hunting down politicians who would take away his freedoms; obviously another male idiot lacking muscle in the family-jewels department.

Some yahoo in Alabama decided he needed his handgun and two magazines of ammo to vote in a recent Republican (naturally) primary.  Since a church was acting as the polling place for said primary, there was a sign on the door that clearly stated that guns would not be allowed.  He protested.  To no avail.  A deputy was called.  Voter put his gun back in his truck.  He's going to complain.  So there!  Hmpf!

The NRA initially wrote on its blog page that carrying weapons around just for the attention it garnered its owners was weird.  In about two days they walked that back, blaming the confusion on a hapless staff member.   

There's a Pond in Texas That's Missing its Scum

Holmes and Cruz: Racist Comrades in Arms

If the mere sight of this individual doesn't make you want to hurl your cookies, you might want to seek professional counseling.  No, seriously. 

Because President Obama refused to negotiate on a House budget that would repeal the Affordable Care Act last year, Canadian Senator Senor Rafael Edward Cruz got himself in a snit and decided to shut down the United States government for seventeen days -- to the tune of about $24 BILLION.  He then refused to admit his prominent role in that fiasco, blaming Obama and Harry Reid.   Fast forward: Rafael Edward now is taking full credit for the shutdown, and believes that, because of his leadership, the shutdown is going to allow the Republicans to take over the Senate and increase their membership in the House.

Oh, he's also spewing the meme that because the Democrats are trying to get an amendment to override the Supreme Court's decision on campaign spending, that they're going to ban books and movies.  Yes, seriously!  

On the Lighter Side...

 A new study just released says that Americans learn more about the news from Stephen Colbert than they do from mainstream news channels.  What does that tell us?

Joni Ernst won the Republican primary election in Iowa.  Now she's one step closer to going  to Washington to shoot a hog and castrate Obamacare -- or something like that.  However, Steve Lonegan did not win in New Jersey, which couldn't have been a outcome time for him, given that he's a real loser.  Why, the last time he lost, he rudely pushed his wife's hand off his shoulder during his concession speech.  I guess that taught HER a lesson, by golly!

Don't touch me, bitch!

With their math teacher's help, sixth graders in Massachusetts have sent the Department of Education a bill for more than $1,600 as payment for being used as guinea pigs to test the Standard of Learning exams for a private company.  Now that's thinking, kids!

And speaking of guinea pigs, there's a home schooling expert who believes that sex education is a liberal plot to desensitize children to sex.  This leads to no bonding in marriage, which leads to unstable and broken marriages, and when that happens, they all vote Democratic.  Instead, she recommends letting kids see guinea pigs doing it, because you can't really see anything: You really couldn’t see anything because they’re big, furry little fuzzball things. I mean, that’s why there isn’t guinea pig porn movies.  (Pardon me, but you can't make this shit up.)

And speaking of sex, Pat Robertson believes that if your husband washes dishes, you owe him a roll in the hay.  No word on what you owe if he only puts the crockery in the dishwasher.

Good news!  If God tells him to, Herman Cain will run for president in 2016.  I guess Herb didn't get the text messages God sent him in 2012.

Some anti-gay Christian groups are refusing to accept mail with Harvey Milk postage stamps on it.  Well, that will certainly show those gays a thing or two!

Not-Ready-For-Prime-Time GOPer Terri Lynn Land, who's running for something or other in Michigan, became so flustered while being questioned by reporters that she exclaimed, I can't do this!   Ain't that a hoot?


End Note
  

When Will Alison Grimes Declare 'Game On!' Against Mitch McConnell?

by Sunnyjane

Since you asked, Mitch:  Repealing the Second Amendment, Defending Obamacare, Ending the War on Clean Energy, and Protecting the Living. There.  How's that?

In about seven months, Americans will vote to keep or replace their congresspeople, all four hundred and thirty-five of them.  There are also thirty-three gubernatorial races and thirty-three senate races to be decided on November 4. Personally, with the 2012 general election, Virginia's gubernatorial election in 2013, and this year's election, I feel like all I do is vote. 

While the University of Virginia professor and director of its Center for Politics Larry Sabato dismisses the Kentucky senate race as hardly one worth watching -- he believes there's no way McConnell can lose -- there are plenty of others who disagree. 

Waaa...I Wanna be the Senate Majority Leader!

All right, Mitch, you had your fun, now let go.  Stop it!  I said, LET GO OF THE GUN!

Perhaps Grimes is waiting to see what happens in the Republican primary election in May between McConnell and his loudest opponent, Tea Party darling Matt Bevin before she starts fighting in earnest.  Bevin has support from all the right places (pun intended), including Jim DeMint's Senate Conservative Fund.  The McConnell campaign seems less than impressed by this support: Matt Bevin now has the dubious honor of standing with a self-serving D.C. fundraising group that made its name by recruiting and promoting unelectable candidates that ensured Barack Obama a majority in the Senate.  (Ouch!)  The Bevin-McConnell kerfuffle is more than just a newbie trying to oust a long-time senator: it's a battle between the Tea Party and the establishment Conservatives.  The Tea Party  big-wigs would support a maggot-infested Twinkie if they thought it would send another Ted Cruz/Rand Paul/Mike Lee, etc., to the Senate.

McConnell also faces the likelihood of being ousted from his Minority Leader position if the GOP does not win control of the Senate.  Even if they should somehow gain control, an even bigger threat is that he would not be allowed to become Majority Leader.  That would leave a bruise.  Mitch has a lot of issues facing him this election and his campaign is going to have to navigate each one of them.

So, Alison, time to get serious.  It's not like there's nothing in Mitch's legislative record to criticize.  And giving him a poke about how he holds a gun -- KY women do it better -- ain't gonna cut it.

Running in Place -- Backwards

OK, Turtle-head, which part of "paycheck fairness" don't you understand?  The "paycheck" part or the "fairness" part?

That Sen. McConnell is a leadership-weenie is hardly worth my typing that fact.  The Tea Partiers in the Senate ignore him, and he has little following from so-called regular conservatives.  He follows before he leads.

And such was the case with the Paycheck Fairness Act when he harrumphed that  At a time when the Obama economy is already hurting women so much, this legislation would double down on job loss, all while lining the pockets of trial lawyers. It's just another Democratic idea that threatens to hurt the very people that it claims to help.  This is, of course, so much bullshit balderdash.  President Obama did win the gender gap in 2012 by eighteen percentage points, after all, and has done everything allowed by law to make women's lives easier.  The same can hardly be said for the Tea Party Republicans.

We Can't Afford to Give Those Slackers More Money!

Yeah, so $4.9 trillion for real important stuff.  But the President is trying to bankrupt the country!

After trying -- but failing, fortunately -- to add an amendment to the unemployment benefits extension that would, ahem,  boost job growth by approving the Keystone XL pipeline, reducing taxes on small businesses, and eliminating the 30-hour workweek rule in Obamacare, the Senate passed the bill on April 7 and sent it to an empty House; they decided to go on vacation until April 28.  Great work if you can get it, I suppose, to do nothing while earning $174,000 a year.  Now, has it occurred to anyone on the Hill that this could have been done last December?  No, I suppose not.  They don't give a damn anyhow.  Makes you wonder if they understand that part of their mission as elected representatives of the people is to Promote the General Welfare.

Obamacare is a Disaster, Too Expensive, and Must be Repealed!

HUH?  You're telling me Obamacare is working?  Even in KENTUCKY?

Not only is the Affordable Care Act working -- yes, even in Kentucky -- it is becoming more, well, affordable.

The Tea Party-run GOP has been all over the place on the ACA.  Ted Cruz is beginning to sound like a badly stretched 8-track tape with his We'll repeal every word of Obamacare! mantra.  This, of course, is one of the brilliant people who said two years ago that Americans don't need health insurance because that's what Emergency Rooms are for.  Now, he's joining forces with those who are pushing the idea that ERs should turn away people without health insurance, but offers no solution as to how they would obtain that health insurance.  OK, I know this makes no sense, but indulge me: we're talking about the Tea Party here.

Alison Grimes has welcomed the support of former president Bill Clinton, who told Democrats back in March that they should not run away from Obamacare in the 2014 elections.  But even though Kentucky has signed up almost four hundred thousand of its citizens for the ACA,  Grimes seems bent on taking the advice of Democratic pollster Celinda Lake, who cautions: Don’t defend Obamacare.  Say it was flawed from the beginning, and we’re going to fix it.

If Alison Grimes cannot stand in front of her supporters and stick up for a program that has allowed four hundred thousand Kentuckians to be enrolled in the ACA and Medicaid, perhaps she shouldn't be running for the U.S. Senate after all.

Maybe she's seeking counsel from the horoscope column in her local newspaper.  I dunno.

Fortunately, There is GOOD News for Grimes

Just before publishing this post, there came late-breaking news that Grimes is taking in a good amount of money -- she's topping the Turtle -- through her grassroots campaign.  Looks like Kentuckians really do hate Mitch McConnell.

End Note

  

The Annual Conservative Cattle Call: CPAC 2014

by Sunnyjane

What, you can't choose ONE amongst that large group of racist, homophobic, misogynistic, gun-worshiping, pro-life, far-right Christianistas who is suitable?

Like cattle they are, but All Things Bright and Beautiful they are not.  Eleven thousand politicos and their wanna-rub-elbows-with followers gathered together a week or so ago to play Let's Bash Obama! and see if they could increase their popularity with a bunch of mindless supporters by so doing.  (Note to the Republican Tea Party: You don't have to try so hard to make Barack Obama a two-term president;  he's decided not to run for a third term in 2016.)

Absent an actual unified message of their own, the speakers trotted out every old and ineffectual catchphrase in their far-right arsenal of grief with the current administration.  It was, for all intents and purposes, a typical GOP get-together -- only more obnoxious.

While most of the regular podium-pounders were in attendance, who was not there may be as significant.  Not one of the GOP's current women in the House or Senate was invited to speak, including State-of-the-Union responder Cathy McMorris Rodgers.  Of course, considering the horrific reaction to her little homily, that may be for the best.  OK, there was Michele Bachmann (see below), but she was not invited by CPAC itself; she was the special guest speaker of Jenny Beth Martin, founder and president of the Tea Party Patriots.

Also missing from the speakers' dais was Reince Priebus; they relegated him to a panel titled On Wisconsin!  Turning Blue States Red.  This is particularly interesting in light of the fact that  Governor Scott Walker decided to skip the whole CPAC thingy this year.

And semi-professional liver-abuser John Boehner wasn't asked to speak.  I guess his calling out the Tea Partiers for their craziness last December didn't go over very well.         

International Women's Day 2014: The Call for Gender Equality 

Only CPAC would have the two dumbest women in politics speak on IWD 2014.

On being married to a President of the United States, Barbara Bush once said, Somewhere out in this audience may even be someone who will one day follow in my footsteps, and preside over the White House as the President's spouse. I wish him well! 

Michele Bachmann, otherwise known to Minnesota's Native American tribes as Bug-Eyed Loon Hooting at Empty Space, probably made one of the stupidest, most dishonest statements at CPAC 2014: that at its core, she said, the Tea Party is an intellectual movement.  That core must be rotten, because while I'm sure you and I could come up with a number of appropriate adjectives to describe the Tea Party, I doubt that intellectual would be one of them.  Correct me if I'm mistaken.

Of course she also said -- again -- that the United States would some day elect a female president, but it would be the right one. Now she may have been using a double entendre -- right meaning best and right meaning conservative -- but I sincerely doubt that Bachmann is that smart.  In all her brilliance, the almost-ex Representative proudly and smugly declared that the GOP was the only party that has put a woman on the ticket in this century -- Sarah Palin.  Woo hoo!  Might I remind her that this century is only fourteen years old; there are still eighty-six years to go.  Sigh...

Of Green Eggs and Ham and a Wig that Goes Limp in the Night

OH M'GOD!  They just announced that Sarah Palin will speak next. 

Ted Cruz's official jock-strap sniffer, Sarah Palin, continued to make an ass of herself, much to the delight of the frenzied group of C-Packers.  It was rumored that many of the men were disappointed in her choice of attire because they lost a golden opportunity to do a little cell-phone upskirting.  Such is life, guys, but I doubt you missed much.

I have to say, Sarah has the mind of a computer: garbage in, garbage out is all you're going to get.  Not that anyone at CPAC cared, of course, because she put as many check marks next to her self-prescribed dose of hate and rage as possible: Obama is weak, Obama is a liar, Obamacare is bad, bad guy with a nuke, good guy with a nuke, yammer, yammer, yammer.  She even spoke right to the ladies at one point, telling them not to vote for Democrats because Republican women were fighters and were tough and powerful like her -- or something similar.  She read someone else's bastardization of the aforementioned Dr. Seuss book, giving a casual Hat Tip to the Internet because she stole it from a specific right-wing blog.  I guess she doesn't understand that The Internet is merely a repository, not an entity that writes its own stuff.  Palin failed to tell her fans that she's never actually read Green Eggs and Ham; she quit halfway through because it was too hard.

Charles Pierce at Esquire wrote an excellent synopsis of Palin's CPAC speech, and summed her up nicely with She respects no standards but her own.  To this I would respectfully add, She's only willing to change her standards if it boosts her ego or her bank account.

And a special message for you, Sarah, from your very own tough conservative idol, Margaret Thatcher:  Being powerful is like being a lady.  If you have to tell people you are -- you aren't.    

Rand Paul Manages to Wear Out the Word Liberty 

Meet me at the intersection of Moran Avenue and Refudiate Boulevard.  I'm driving a white car.

I'm not going to get into a pissing contest with Rand Paul over the meaning of his favorite subject, Civil Liberties.  However, just to put any confusion to rest, the term civil liberties in the United States of America is interpreted by the Fourteenth Amendment to the Constitution as those rights, privileges and immunities held by all people.  And even if Rush Limbaugh gave the incident a pass by calling her a professional agitator who provoked the incident, it does not mean your campaign volunteers have the right to give a concussion-causing head stomp to a MoveOn.org member protesting at one of your rallies.  See, little things like that are not a civil liberty.  Just sayin'.  (I have a rather fertile imagination, but for the life of me, I cannot conceive of Rush Limbaugh having such a thoroughly dismissive attitude if one of Barack Obama's supporters had head-stomped a Tea Party protester.)

So at CPAC, Senator Libertarian forgot about that rights, privileges and immunities thingy and launched into his usual diatribe over President Obama's timid defense of liberty and his shredding of the Constitution.  The nine thousand (OK, a possible exaggeration on my part) Libs he had bussed in screeched and applauded and generally appeared to have imbibed a six-pack each of Red Bull.  Whoa!      

Perhaps Paul's finest opinion on how to be an effective president came in an op-ed he wrote for Time in which he pretty much laid out his concept of how a president should conduct himself in these icky international situations like the one currently on everyone's radar, Ukraine.  While declaring in no uncertain terms that President Obama should start demonstrating tough leadership, he added that the President should do absolutely nothing.  (No, seriously.)  Well, he did say that we should withhold military or financial aid to Ukraine, the country we support against Russia.  And to further show his toughness against Russia, we should boycott the G-8 Summit in Sochi this summer.  (Spoiler:  The U.S. and six other G-8 members have already done that.)  Oh, and we should start shipping natural gas to western Europe; that will show those godless Russkies a thing or two!

Doing nothing about an international crisis might work out really swell in isolationist Rand Paul's fevered nocturnal emissions dreams, but it's high time for him to wake up to the real world and learn how to govern in a democracy.  World Leader countries do not remain world leaders very long; doing nothing may mean your grandchildren will be learning to speak Russian in the not-so-far distant future.

Because a Brown-Bag Lunch Means Love, Y'all

And there are no finer examples of hypocrites than Paul Ryan and Ayn Rand

In her book The Virtues of Selfishness, Ayn Rand wrote that accepting any government controls is delivering oneself into gradual enslavement.  And yet, when she needed them, she grabbed both Social Security and Medicare; she was ill and needed those controls.  Her acolyte, Paul Ryan, so worshiped Rand that he himself gladly accepted Social Security benefits after his father died, and subsequently went to college on the money.

In a trip to Once-Upon-a-Time Land, Paul Ryan (R-Wingnutville) heard about a little (insert black here) child who told a campaign staffer that he didn't want a free government school lunch, he wanted a brown-bag lunch because it showed that someone cared about him.  Naturally, budget-wonk Ryan had to repeat the story at CPAC.  And just as naturally, it became urban-legend material to be told throughout Tea Partyland.  Only problem is, Ryan's version ain't true.  It's from a freaking book written about the relationship between a woman and a homeless boy.  The author and the young boy appeared on Mike Huckabee's Fraud News program in 2013 and talked about their support for the Share Our Strength No Kid Hungry campaign.  So, there's that bit of awkwardness.

Let's review some history here to get a bead on Mr. Ryan and his, um, little problem.  After the 2012 election, he stated that the Republican ticket lost because too many (insert black here) urban voters turned out for President Obama.  (No explanation on why he lost his own hometown, which is 88.6% white and 2.8% black; nor did he explain why he couldn't carry the state of Wisconsin for the Republicans, with 88.2% whites and only 6.5% blacks.)

Oh, it wouldn't have anything to do with the fact that Mitt Romney went to the NAACP convention and told the (insert black here) folks there that if they wanted Obamacare and free stuff, vote for the other guy.  Nah.

Shortly after CPAC, Mr. Ryan bewailed the fact that inner-city (insert black here) men have a culture of not working.  Mind you, this was during an interview with Bill Bennett, who once said that crime in the U.S. would go down if all black babies were aborted.  Makes you wonder how Paul Ryan squares that with his anti-abortion stand, doesn't it?  Can you say hypocrite?

In the same interview, the Congressman referenced a study by white supremacist Charles Murray, who believes that social inequality is caused by the genetic inferiority of the black and Latino communities, women, and the poor.  And he's got the racist pseudoscience and misleading statistics to prove it!  (Just in case you're not getting the message, Mr. Murray believes that the only worthy people on the planet are white... men.)

Bottom line here, if there's any culture of not working, it's in the U.S. House of Representatives, where each of these so-called lawmakers is making more than $1,500 an hour for doing absolutely nothing to help Americans.  (Insert Asshole! here.)

Mitch McConnell Goes Hunting for Tea Party Votes

See this?  This is a gun.  I'm holding a gun.  I've never held a gun in my life.

Mitch promised the Tea Party crowd that if they'd return him to the Senate as Leader, he'd lead with integrity, fight tooth and nail (how original) for conservative reforms, wouldn't let them down, blah, blah, blah.  You know the routine.  Yawn.

No one has the remotest idea why McConnell thought he needed a prop to speak to Tea Partiers, much less a gun prop.  He looked about as comfortable with a gun as Sarah Palin would holding a dictionary.  In fact, he doesn't own a gun and it's doubtful he has ever hunted.

The hilarious thing about Mitch begging for Tea Party votes is the interview he did that appeared in the New York Times on the Saturday that CPAC ended its big gig.  In it he was asked if Republican incumbents were concerned about being challenged by Tea Partiers and he indicated they were not worried because I think we are going to crush them everywhere.  I don't think they are going to have a single nominee anywhere in the country.  Talk about awkward!   But Mitch is probably safe; it's doubtful that Tea Party folks have ever heard of the that particular publication, much less actually read it.

Cruzin' for a Bruisin'

Why yes, yes it is.  Please inform the Canadians, Big Guy; they'll be thrilled to hear it.

It's extremely difficult for normal people to figure out what Ted Cruz's game is.  It's obvious to anyone with a pulse that Teddy intends to be the Republican nominee for president in 2016, and yet he goes out of his way to piss off the very people he needs to get there, namely, the GOP itself.  Most of his fellow senators cannot stand him.  At a party luncheon a week after the President's State of the Union Address, John McCain -- referring to weirdo Steve Stockman -- complained that some crazy guy from Texas had stormed out in the middle of the speech.  Cruz quickly replied, Hey, I didn’t walk out of the State of the Union!

It's been reported that Cruz is trying to curb his wacko-birdiness this year.  Well, it seems he's fallen off the wagon on that venture because in his speech at CPAC he disdainfully reminded the Tea Partiers in attendance that they wouldn't remember a President Dole...a President McCain...a President Romney.  That infuriated John McCain, who demanded that Cruz publicly apologize to Dole.

And, of course, Cruz swore that he would continue his fight to repeal every word of Obamacare.  That received the expected wild explosion of cheers and applause from the Tea Partiers.  Unfortunately for Sen. Cruz, a minor problem has arisen:   House Republicans are moving to improve the law, not repeal it.  Bwahahaha! 

There will be more on this senator in the near future.

End Note

If you are ever fortunate enough to receive a call from a Republican campaign asking for a donation, be sure to tell them, I'd really like to help, but I'm afraid you'd become dependent on it so I'll try to make you more self-reliant.  That ought to do it.
  

Mitch McConnell: The Pesky 2014 Challenges He's Facing (Heh)

by Sunnyjane

 Did you say I'm facing a Democrat, a Tea Partier, and an Independent?  Gawd!

When Mitch McConnell easily won a fifth term in the U.S. Senate in 2008, the next six years were supposed to be, shall we say, orgasmic: make that uppity Barack Obama a one-term president, become Senate Majority Leader, elect a Republican president in 2012, and glide easily back to the Senate in 2014 with his turtle-smirk firmly affixed.

Needless to say, McConnell's highly arousing plan was a bit, um, ejaculation praecox.  President Obama is still the president, the Democrats still control the Senate, his disapproval rating at home is fifty-one percent, and he is up against a variety of challengers in the My-Old-Kentucky-Home state.

Curses!  Foiled again.

McConnell: The Tea Party is Ruining Conservatism! 

Isn't it awkward when you invite a bunch of crazy people into your home and they start ransacking it and trying to throw you out at the same time?  Well, meet the 2010 Republicans, those who decided to bring some of the most ideologically divisive individuals into their tent just to show President Obama a thing or two!  And then they continued it in 2012 -- don't know why, but Ted Cruz comes to mind.

Well, there's another Tea Partier who is anxious to take Mitch McConnell's job in the Senate in 2014 because he believes that the Minority Speaker is not conservative enough.  Meet Matt Bevin, whose political experience consists only of giving money to conservative politicians and the Republican Party of Kentucky.  Whoo hoo!  Now that's just top-notch governing experience for you.  (Shades of Rand Paul, whose only political experience before he Tea-Partied himself into the Senate was giving campaign speeches for his do-nothing father.) 

Of course, Mitch cannot be happy that his Tea Party challenger has recently been endorsed by Jim DeMint's Senate Conservatives Fund:  Matt Bevin is a true conservative who will fight to stop the massive spending, bailouts, and debt that are destroying our country.  He is not afraid to stand up to the establishment and he will do what it takes to stop Obamacare.  (He'll do what it takes to stop Obamacare?  Snort!)

The McConnell campaign sniffed their disdain by retorting, Matt Bevin now has the dubious honor of standing with a self-serving D.C. fundraising group that made its name by recruiting and promoting unelectable candidates that ensured Barack Obama a majority in the Senate. They clearly care less about Kentuckians than they do about their reputation for supporting laughably bad candidates.

So while Bevin is touting himself as THE conservative in the race, Mitch has to straddle the line between being ultraconservative and blaming others for being TOO conservative.   (I know, it's hard to keep up with these fools, isn't it?)  I'm sure we'll hear more about Mr. Bevin as the campaign gets hotter in early 2014; Mitch knows how to find out stuff about his enemies, you know.  Doesn't it make you giddy with anticipation of watching this freak show?

Obamacare's Roots and Branches  (It's Complicated)

While Mitch declares that the Republicans will not shut down the government again over the Affordable Care Act, he intends to get enough conservative butts in the Senate by 2016 to take Obamacare apart by it's roots and branches because it's hurting Americans, is a catastrophic failure, and is not fixable. 

Kentucky's Democratic governor, Steve Beshear, begs to differ, and went to Washington recently to say so -- rather strongly: There is a tremendous pent-up demand in Kentucky for affordable health care.  People are hungry for it.
 
It seems Governor Beshear is correct.  Citing statistics for Kentucky's exchange website, more than 550,000 people have visited Kentucky’s Obamacare site since its Oct. 1 launch. More than 180,000 have called into the healthcare call center, meanwhile, and about 69,000 people — 41 percent of whom are under the age of 35 — have signed up. 

And Then There's The Democratic Challenger 
     

Alison Grimes:  If Mitch McConnell had a kidney stone, he wouldn't pass it.

Although Kentucky Secretary of State Alison Lundergan Grimes will have at least two primary challengers, it is presumed at this point that she will become the Democratic nominee against McConnell in November.

She has a lot of good backing, including family friend former President Bill Clinton.  But as the Daily Beast pointed out recently, she's got to get out there and talk about what she stands for.  It seems that, at this point, she's been somewhat wishy-washy on several issues, including gay marriage and the Affordable Care Act.

We'll see.  Mitch McConnell -- the GOP obstructionist-in-chief, really needs to be retired from the United States Senate.

End Note