Sarah Palin May Day creativilization fun post!

By Patrick

It's a slow news today on May Day 2013, apart from the fact that these weird "workers" and their even weirder "unions" as well as "immigrants" feel the need to hold rallies, because they apparently just cannot be happy with what they have got. Are they not simply happy with being alive, like other people? Maybe they should go shopping or watch a Disney movie instead, to give them a happy face.

But there are actually interesting news, after all: John Oliver is going to replace Jon Stewart on the Daily Show for several months this year! I love it! I always thought that John Oliver is absolutely brilliant. Very much looking forward to it!

So this is a post which shouldn't been taken too seriously. But taking American politics too seriously these days is virtually impossible as well. A country in which the majority of all Senators apparently believe that it is a constitutional right to own assault weapons as well as other high-powered firearms without adequate background checks really is at the brink of insanity in my opinion. Or am I missing something?

Let's be serious for a moment: I was deeply shocked to see that in Senator Feinstein's hearing on gun control on February 27 the very serious concerns of the testifying police officers were being dismissed in the most stupid manner. According to their own statements, the police officers have been suffering from a brutal "arms race" during the last 20 years, with criminals owning more and more powerful weapons, in many cases obtained in a way that did not require background checks, for example at gun shows.

The police officers described at the hearing that they have to deal with a constantly increasing death toll amongst officers, due to the more and more powerful weapons. And what happened during the hearing? The concerns of the police officers were dismissed by the "pro-gun" Senators. It was shameful. Watch for example this exchange between Republican Senator Lindsey Graham and Milwaukee police chief Edward A. Flynn:

Being "pro-gun NRA-style" is simply shameful and unpatriotic. The police officers have to suffer the consequences of these ignorant policies, as well as other people.

OK, but now some Sarah Palin fun, otherwise it will get too depressing. Sarah Palin gave us some grief during the previous years as well, being the ultimate mean girl who was once being loved by the media, with journalists who cheered the ratings and who also believed that it was a journalistic crime to investigate her. However, things have changed a little bit. These days Sarah Palin is not only the ultimate mean girl (still), but also the ultimate national joke. So let's have a little laugh!

Some of our readers were very creative during the previous days, and special thanks to our reader KatieAnnieOakley, who was particularly active, and many thanks to all other participants!

Therefore I would like to present some of the results of the recent creative process. Sarah Palin's ever increasing bust line in particular inspired our readers, as well as her epic "assclowns" tweet.

So here we go. I picked up an idea from our readers and made the following memepic:

Here are other compositions by our readers:

I think this was found somewhere else:

I will never get tired of Sarah Palin. Which is fine, as she has moved into the entertainment business. We will get a laugh out of her for many years to come.

Let's also remember the genius of our beloved AzureGhost, who currently is taking a break from the "Palin-world", but created the most wonderful compositions in the past, like these ones:

Well, at least Bristol got the message, apparently. Seems that she is smarter than her mother.

There is evidently hope for the Palin-family. Sarah, however, is hopeless as ever.

Here endeth the lesson! Good night!

Gun Reform Laws: In WayneWorld, It's Apocalypse Now!

by Sunnyjane

Unfortunately, the country's Founding Fathers didn't reckon on the vile and authoritarian  National Rifle Association when they penned our Constitution's Second Amendment.  Nor did they ever think that elected representatives, who are sent to the nation's capitol to promote the general welfare, would be so lily-livered as to kiss the ring of a lobbying organization with a membership totaling fewer than 1.4% of the American population.  Hell, if there were such an organization as the American Society of One-Armed Chicken Venters, it would have more members.

How ashamed the Founders would be of us.

My dentith is going to thoot thith ugly tooth out ob my mouff.

Wayne LaPierre is on a rant against gun reform.  Not just any rant, mind you.  This is an all-out tirade boiling over with unmitigated racism, while reminding us that the NRA is the largest civil rights organization in the world. 

What?  Did LaPierre really say that?  Yes, he very recently said that -- and more.  Have you heard this one?  Phoenix is one of the kidnapping capitols in the world?  Yes, you have.  John McCain said in 2010 that Phoenix is the second kidnapping capitol in the world.  While I have recently expressed my displeasure with NRA mouthpieces calling gun ownership a civil right, it is important to reiterate that the Phoenix kidnapping capitol thingy is pure bullshit has been thoroughly debunked. 

We've got violent Latino gangs, a porous Mexican border that lets in gangs of murderers, rapists, and robbers -- and Al-Qaeda!  We've got gangs of marauding something-or-others in Brooklyn, Obama using some trumped-up massacre to take our guns, and a collapsing civilization if we enact any intelligent form of gun reform.  Whew!

However, concerning LaPoop's claim that South Brooklyn became a hellish world of apocalyptic violence after Hurricane Sandy,  one business owner said of the NRA maggot, He's a f---ing idiot.  In fact, an NYPD spokesman even refuted his allegation, saying: (In) the 60th Precinct in Coney Island, it was hardly hell week — there were no murders, no rapes and no shootings.

 

But hold on there, dear readers, we're not through with the crazy yet.  Ms. Lindsey (Graham) had to come up with something heady to salve the worries of the 2014 voting constituents in South Carolina.  Before Wayne-Boy had his say, Graham tried to scare the hell out of Americans in January by giving this piece of sage advice for owning an AR-15: In 1992 you had the riots in Los Angeles.  I think it was the King event, but you could find yourself in this country in a lawless environment through a natural disaster or a riot. … And the story was about a place called Koreatown. There were marauding gangs going through the area, burning stores, looting and robbing … and raping. 

However, as The Grio points out, Of course, there is no evidence of marauding rape gangs in Koreatown during the 1992 riots, but that’s not the point of Graham or LaPierre’s rants. The point is to terrify Americans who don’t fall into the ethnic categories their comments are targeting, into buying more, and deadlier weapons, out of fear. 

Quite frankly, I'd rather take my chances with the marauding gangs than those law-abiding, real-American men who use guns as testosterone enhancement therapy.

After the Connecticut Effect Dissipates...

While NRA headquarters has, for the most part, been loath to mention the words Sandy Hook, it appears that at least one state NRA lobbyists is not so squeamish.   Last week the Wisconsin NRA lobbyist, Bob Welch, had an unfortunate case of verbal diarrhea when he lamented at the state convention that until the public stops focusing on the Newtown shooting it would be impossible for the NRA to push bills like Stand Your Ground through the legislature.  We have a strong agenda coming up for next year, but of course a lot of that’s going to be delayed as the “Connecticut effect” has to go through the process.  

These remarks caused some heartburn (heh) at HQ, causing an NRA spokesperson to assure Talking Points Memo that Bob Welch is neither a staff lobbyist nor a contract lobbyist for the National Rifle Association and added that Welch does not speak for the NRA.

Death by Calphalon

Expect the next fashion trend to be a holster for your favorite frying pan.  Why? you ask.  Well, because according to one Georgia state legislator, Bill Jackson (R-Demented), They’re killin’ people with frying pans. They’re killin’ people with hammers! There’s more murders with hammers last year than there was shotguns, pistols and AK-47s.

Back in the real world, the FBI states that statistics from 2011 reveal that firearms accounted for 67.7 percent of all murders and blunt objects (including frying pans and hammers) accounted for 3.9 percent. 

No word on how many mass murders have been committed with frying pans or hammers, but Politicususa is still looking.  If they find some, I'll get back to ya. 

Not Enough Money for Hate

One bit of bright news last week was that the Tea Party's Day of Resistance, scheduled for February 23rd, failed to reach its fundraising goals.  Can I hear a collective Awww?  Yep, the big event needed $100,000 to proceed after its drop-dead (no pun intended) collection date; it garnered a mere $26,000.  Not to fear!  They have pledged to do better in the future.  (What, are the Koch Brothers not answering their phones these days?)

End Note

There was great skepticism over the veracity of this chart, which shows that more people in the U.S. have been killed by guns since 1960 than have been killed in all of our wars.  However, as it turns out, it's true.  And very chilling.

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