Sarah Palin's new trailer - "I will do anything for money" - PARODY

Graphic created by KatieAnnieOakley

By Patrick

Have you ever heard of the "Sportsman Channel"...? Nope, we neither. But this channel is at least as important as CBS, really! Sarah Palin, she is now much bigger than Katie Couric once was, you betcha!

So you can already tell that this is a satire post. SATIRE. PARODY. That's what Americans and others crave these days, because reality can be so...unreal. Especially if you take a look at Sarah Palin's new trailer for her new über-patriotic show. You are only a real American if you wear the flag on your shoes!

So it is only too appropriate to ridicule the money-grabbing former Queen of Alaska.

Our reader "disqusux" created a first version of this video, but it got axed by youtube, totally against fair use rules! Booooooo!

Our reader "KatieAnnieOakley" had a nice idea for the title.

Here it is again, beautifully polished in HD - only the best quality for our readers:

Hey, "Sportsman Channel" - please read:

Fair use is a limitation and exception to the exclusive right granted by copyright law to the author of a creative work. In United States copyright law, fair use is a doctrine that permits limited use of copyrighted material without acquiring permission from the rights holders. Examples of fair use include commentary, search engines, criticism, parody, news reporting, research, teaching, library archiving and scholarship.

But then, Sportsman Channel, you have employed Sarah Palin...she also doesn't really understand copyright laws. I guess you belong together, you two.

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UPDATE:

Again many thanks to our reader disqusux for the idea! :-)

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UPDATE 2:

It's just too much fun - our reader disqusux created this graphic:

"O Little Town Of Wasillahem" - Wonderful satire by our reader JCos, but: Nothing beats Sarah Palin hilarious "audio sample" from her new "Christmas book", which will make you spit out your morning coffee! Sarah Palin tries to "protect the heart of Christmas" with gambling, gifts and guns! - UPDATE: HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

+++ Read the follow-up: "New York Magazine" publishes review of Sarah Palin's Christmas book with hilarious interactive Christmas-tree, featuring the best quotes from the book, narrated by Sarah Palin - but see and hear for yourself! +++

By Patrick

I love these posts that write themselves! Especially if I am really tired and desperately need to go to bed! So let's dive straight into it. Sarah Palin is about to publish her new book about Christmas which is deceptively called "Good Tidings and Great Joy: Protecting the Heart of Christmas."

So, will it be awful, just like anything else which Sarah Palin has ever produced! You betcha! Listening to the audio sample which is available on Amazon confirmed our worst fears. It is so unbelievably bad, that it really needs to be heard, although it will knock your socks off! So be prepared! Maybe take a strong drink or whatever will numb you!

Huge h/t to our reader "yellow rose"...!

I brought the audio sample over here for easier access (click here for link, in case you cannot see the player):

EDIT - I now also created a youtube clip with the audio:

Our reader "yellow rose" commented:

I listened to the audio of Sarah narrating part of her Christmas book (on the Amazon.com book site). She has her most cheery and jolly voice on (kind of like her interview after giving birth to Trig on April 21, 2008, and it was so easy and relaxing.) (In addition: Download the audio from April 21, 2008)

She describes the tradition of "Eskimo Bingo"; the only time she encourages her kids to "be greedy" - with a throw of the dice you can "steal" a present from the circle. (Is there something racist about this?) Todd gifts are always "amazing" - he has always given her "good gifts", which she lists for us. He only wants gas gift cards for all his vehicles.(Or is Sarah just lazy?) Last year, to "combat gun chatter coming from D.C.", "I gave Todd a needed and POWERFUL gun". (What? Is she letting politics steal Christmas?) And then the classic, "He got the gun, I got the rack" (How could it be a Christmas book without that?)

The greatest joy is always giving the children their gifts (but what about Jesus?). And when Sarah was a young mother with energy she began the tradition of scavenger hunts to find their gifts. And she leaves clues in the cookie jar, in the mail box, on the fence, on the dog's collar, and on and on..... ("How am I going to fill 200 pages!!???)

This is only the beginning of "protecting the heart of Christmas"? Gambling, gifts, guns? Stay tuned...

But another reader made a wonderful contribution as well! Our creative genius JCos really outdid herself this time and rewrote the lyrics to "O Little Town of Bethlehem" in honor of Sarah Palin's attempt to save Christmas.

Here are the new lyrics by JCos, the song now being called "O little town of Wasillahem":

O little town of Wasillahem

How still we tell the lie

About thy weak and braindead sheep

As Tea Party stars go by

Yet in thy dark streets shineth

The neverending blight

The dread and fears of all the years

Are met in her tonight

For Trig is born of Bristol

And gathered at Mat Su

While mortals sleep, the angels weep

Their watch of deceit true

O morning stars together

Proclaim the Gov's fake birth

And praises sing to false doctoring

And to hell with men on earth

How silently, how silently

His special needs exploited!

So Palin imparts to human hearts

Her endorsement straight from heaven.

No ear may hear Her coming,

But in this world of sin,

Where meek souls will heed her still,

The deer killer enters in.

O holy Child of Wasillahem

Enrich us now, we pray

Cover up our sin and enter in

Make money for us today

We hear the Christmas angels

The great glad tidings tell

O come to us, abide with us

Forget Barack and Michelle

With this very nice instrumental version of the song you can "check" how these new lyrics fit, and they are just perfect:

Voilà, this is our post for today. Many, many thanks again for the contributions of our readers!

Sarah, Sarah, what have you done? Gambling, gifts and guns? This is your version of Christmas? We really have no words.

Apart from:

"O holy Child of Wasillahem

Enrich us now, we pray

Cover up our sin and enter in

Make money for us today"

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UPDATE - some reactions from our readers:

Linda1961:

Yellow Rose is right that Quitter sounds cheery, but the timber of her voice still grates. And it's creepy, but not surprising, that she thinks that gift giving is what is Christmas all about. What about just spending time with family and friends? What about helping those in need? ETA: In that audio clip, I don't remember her mentioning the birth of Christ. Seems she would have been sure to have included a reference to the reason for the holiday in the audio clip. All I heard what what she did and what she gets. It was all about Quitter.

KatieAnnieOakley:

Most hilarious in the audio file? Its CLEAR she maims certain words: STILL for steal; (stealing presents) WILLER for (four)-wheeler; GIFF for gifts and WILLS for (hot) wheels.

Pallottine:

That audio, what a bunch of crap. I found it particularly amusing that she's running out of hiding places for her clues. I wonder which kid found the clue in the freezer, ya know, the one she hid between the ground up moose meat, and the freezer burnt elk stew. Yup, gotta check out the freezer. Newsmax and SarahPAC, the book sales are all yours!

ynott:

I don't get the point of her book. Wasn't it supposed to be about the war on Christmas and how it was being secularized and too commercial and politically correct? Is she saying Christmas is all about her family's crazy traditions and not even talking about the true meaning of Christmas to Christians?

Sounds like she is totally trying to make some political statement about it all. I don't get it.

Idiot!

Psalm023:

Oh phffffffftttttt!!!!

I listened and all I heard was, "mememememememememememememem - Todd-I-powerful gun-me big rack-mememememememememe-kids-cold-gifts-Todd-sleepy eyes-open wide-bigwills(huh? does she mean Big Wheels?) - memememememeourourourourourourourour/dad's old bones/gunrack/mememememememememme

That about summed it up. Where is the mention of Jesus?

Psalm023:

I wouldn't care one bit what she writes or does, but it's her incessant attacking others who she feels don't measure up to her standards. She insulted the President's first post card of a White House fireplace with Bo. So what does she think this little enterprise of hers exposes? It shows she's not only shallow and lacks depth and feeling, but it shows her superiority complex and offenses towards others, which is appaling; and she dares to pretend she represents God in all this? As though He's OK with it? He gives His only Son and she takes and takes and takes from others and uses His sacred Name to get rich???????? She has no sensibilities or courtesy or shame or embarassment. Some might even say she has no fear of God himself.

Maelewis:

Treasure hunt for the Palin Family presents, I wonder what the clues were for finding Trig under the Christmas tree. The scarf around Sarah's neck hiding her "pregnancy?" Bristol's living with her aunt and cousins for five months, maybe infecting them with her mono? A child being delivered in a small town hospital which was not equipped for the delivery of a premature, special needs child? Flying for 12 hours while in labor and leaking amniotic fluid? We have missed the real message that Sarah was trying to send with those treasure hunt clues. Trig's birth was more miraculous than the Birth of Jesus. No wonder she claims that the Birth of Jesus in the cornerstone of her religious faith and belief-- while most people would point to Easter.

Maelewis added Sarah Palin's christmas card from 2008:

comeonpeople:

Sarah Palin's book is another manifestation of her mental illness. Everything in this book is a distorted version 0f what 100s of millions of other people do for Christmas every year. But she' s so narcisssitic and also so sheltered up in Wasilly that she thinks it is oh so different and special. Everyone has holiday traditions Sarah. We all ,all ,all have holiday traditions. I believe most of us on this blog also do special things for our neighbors and community and family and coworkers year round, but especially during the holidays. Nothing in this book so far demonstrates any religious convictions. She really missed the mark. This is another "pay the mortgage" books. "Pay the mortgage" is a term my husband and I use when we see a beloved actor in a crappy movie. We say they did it solely for the money. That's all Sarah does - various and sundry crap for money...

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UPDATE 2:

Politicalgates says HAPPY HALLOWEEN!

Our reader HopeforAmerica had a lot of fun and created the following clip for Halloween - please share it on facebook, twitter etc.! 

(Satire) This Just In: Sarah Palin Forms New 'FreeDumb' Party

by Sunnyjane

 Palinbots look forward to their FreeDumb Party T-shirts: Dummies 4 Palin 2016!

The sun had barely set on the fourth anniversary of the day she quit on the citizens of her beloved North Star State when Sarah Palin announced at the ballroom of the elite Best Western Motel in Wasilla that she was quitting the Republican Party to establish the FreeDumb Party.

In a highly publicized press conference attended by three local reporters, one hung-over stringer photographer from CNN, and a lesbian wedding party that had just arrived from California and were looking for something to do,  the loser GOP vice-presidential candidate screeched breathlessly: 

A real conservative party has gotta have the chootspah to stand up to the Obama administration’s felled policies which are bringing down the exceptionalism that Americans are hungering to see again and makin’ sure that the hordes of illegal aliens that are rearin’ their heads in Mexico because it’s all about shorin’ up those jobs, also too, so they can build those fences along the western border to keep brown babies from going out and voting for the Democrat Party that is not paying attention to the commonsense solutions that are necessary for our national security and smaller government and stop trying to raise those taxes on the poor rich people in this nation and not acting like dead fish goin' with the flow. 

[One member of the wedding party was overheard whispering,  And the far-right thinks we're weird?]

Bravely Facing Those Gotcha-Question Reporters

Governor Palin is just like us!  We are now Free to be Dumb just like her!  YAY!

Palin appeared so grizzly-mama-eager to engage the reporters that Todd and his buddies blocked the exits, Piper Diaper passed around still-frozen Costco finger-foods on paper plates, and Willow and Bristol tried to wake up the drunk photographer by kicking him in the kidneys repeatedly.

After receiving a severe pinch from Piper for spitting his Cheesy Pig-in-a-Blanket in the nearest trash receptacle, one reporter finally asked, Governor, why aren't the Republicans compromising with the President and their Democratic counterparts  on important issues that affect the nation?

After glancing at her hand and seeing only Trig's b'day 4/18/08 Wasilla Anchorage Wasilla, Palin responded:  It's because Obama is a spend, spend, spend socialist president that's taking away the freedoms from real Americans in those small towns where they grow good people, have lots of Taco Bells, and the fat ones get to ride around on those cute scooters that Medicare gives away for free.  I love those fat folks, ya know?

Another reporter tried gamely to get a coherent response from the quitter governor:  Ms. Palin, the House seems reluctant to bring bills, in this instance the Immigration bill passed recently by the Senate, to the floor for a vote.  Do you think Speaker Boehner should be invoking the Hastert Rule so flagrantly? 

Palin:  On the issue of the Has Dirt Rule, I'd say yes, but only if he has dirt on the Democrat party.  If he only has dirt on the Republican Party, he should invent another rule.  Next question.       

President Palin

After a few more lamestream media questions, the former governor decided she was getting tired and would only take one more question.  

Palin:  You, the guy drinking beer with those lesbians!  Ask me a question.

Reporter:  Sorry, Governor, I was just asking where they had gotten married because my partner and I want to get married soon and their wedding pictures are beautiful.

Palin:  Marriage between two people of the same sex is illegal!  Ever heard of DOMA?

Reporter:  Uh, Governor, surely you're heard that the Supreme Court struck down DOMA, right?

Palin:  Why didn't somebody tell me?  Oh, well, whatever.  Just ask a question!

Reporter:  OK, Governor.  You do realize that a FreeDumb Party win in 2016 would still only give you the minority vote in the House and Senate, right?  How do you intend to combat the Republican or Democratic votes against bills you might propose?

Palin:  I do not intend to have any lackadaisical shuckers and jivers in my administration!

The Three Weary Reporters:  Um, thanks, Governor.  See you around.   

End Note

 

The Republican Presidential Debates - If you know one, you know them all! (Satire)

Guest post by Anne S

So, what's going on today? Anything? At all?

So, look, since the great Governor has forced us to look upon other candidates for true leadership, here. Just watch it.

Anything going on?

CHARLIE ROSE: Good evening folks! As you all know we have an election coming up. An election to elect the highest office of the land. The most esteemed position in America. Out of the billions of American's who walk amongst us, I have for you tonight EIGHT cream of the crop right here with me. The brightest brains. The bravest souls. One of these may be the next Leader of the Free World.

Our very own singing Godfather of the Pizza Pie Mr. 9-9-9 himself Herman Cain.

We have all dressed all White, with long freshly manicured fingernails to match, standing out as the beacon Miracle of Lights, Holy Mother of 1000 starving kids - many of whom are our nation's rejects - Congresswoman Bachmann

Mr. It's all gonna go Boom! Representative Ron Paul

Always ready to tell us about all the Gloom, Doom and Decay facing America, Former House Speaker Newt Gingrich

Can't get anymore American than a Texas Cowboy, Mr. Slick himself, Governor Rick Perry

Psst! I'm still here. Hello? Over here, Senator Rick Santorum

I'd Rather Be Anywhere But Here...Former Governor Jon Huntsman

And last, but not in the least, our Rock Hudson wanna be, Former Governor Mitt Romney.

I begin this evening with one of those chosen, the Godfather of Pizza, Mr. Herman Cain.
Please don't sing.
Mr. Cain! What would YOU do to end the paralysis of Washington?

HERMAN CAIN: Bold Solutions 9-9-9. It's all about ending the National Debt!

MR. ROSE: Governor Perry, are you prepared to go to Washington as the Ronald Reagan, to compromise on spending cuts and taxes?

GOVERNOR RICK PERRY (R-TX): See, being the Governor of the 2nd Largest State, I know compromise. But it's all about Energy Independence!

MR. ROSE: Yes, well the question was in regard to spending cuts and taxes but.. now to Governor Romney. Back to subject of paralysis in Washington. What SPECIFICALLY would you do to address these problems? Specific, please.. subject: Paralysis of Washington (not energy)

MITT ROMNEY: Well, I'd be a Leader. It's all about being a Leader. That is where Obama fails.

MR. ROSE: Ok, and you would compromise? The paralysis of Washington, ring a bell?

MR. ROMNEY: Sure.

MR. ROSE: -- AND be prepared to compromise, right?

MR. ROMNEY: Sure. I still gotta stand by my principles. Won't be compromising on those. America is desperate for a Leader...and stop spending.

MR. ROSE: Yes, well, so ....Let me introduce my friend Karen. Karen?

KAREN TUMULTY: Hello, hello.. Congresswoman Bachmann, Main Street vrs Wall Street. One suffers and one thrives. Do you think those Wall Street Executives should have gone to jail over what they did to our economy?

REPRESENTATIVE MICHELE BACHMANN (R-MN): I think, you can trace it back to our federal government. You see....

MS. TUMULTY: But the federal government had also deregulated them.

REP. BACHMANN: It was those horrible, sinful, damaging loans. I blame Barney Frank, Chris Dodd and Freddie and Fanny.

MS. TUMULTY: So Speaker Gingrich, it sounds like Congresswoman Bachmann doesn't believe Wall Street it to blame. Do you believe those protesting Wall Street have no grievance?

MR. GINGRICH: Uh, No. The protestors are either left wing agitators or Tea Party People who care. They pick up their trash. The agitators don't.

MR. ROSE: Clearly, you're not saying they should go to jail.

MR. GINGRICH: Well, just go back and look.

MS. TUMULTY: So if you were in the White --

MR. GINGRICH: -- look at Everybody! Go after Bernanke
(Whoo Hoo!! Applause from the Audience)

MS. TUMULTY: But --

MR. GINGRICH: Oh, I'm not finished yet! Go after Bernanke!! He has a secret power.

MS. TUMULTY: So, Congressman Paul, where do you come down this?

REPRESENTATIVE RON PAUL (R-TX): There are folks right here who walk amongst us at this table who didn't want to audit the Fed. If you don't know the problem it will go BOOM! The housing bubble - BOOM!

MR. ROSE: Julianna.

JULIANNA GOLDMAN: Thank you, Charlie. What would you do to create jobs would you do to create jobs, Senator Santorum?

RICK SANTORUM: Uh, you have to be competitive. Repeal every regulation Obama put in place. You do realize my state, NOT Texas, is the gas capital of the world. Not to brag or anything. Yup.

MR. ROSE: All right.

MS. GOLDMAN: What would you do right now to create jobs?

MR. SANTORUM: The cool thing about MY plan, as apposed to Herman's..what is it? 1-2-3-a-b-c? Oh yea, 9-9-9, So MY plan would actually pass tomorrow.

MS. GOLDMAN: Thank you. Governor Huntsman, since the question is about creating JOBS. What do you think the innovative jobs or tomorrow are?

JON HUNTSMAN: First let me tell you why Rick is wrong. Pennsylvania is NOT the gas capital of the country. Washington, D.C. is.. I made a silly!
We need innovation and innovated jobs to beat the Chinese and those Indians.

MR. ROSE: All right.

MR. ROSE: Karen.

MS. TUMULTY: Congressman Gingrich -- Speaker Gingrich, Medicare is going broke. Is the research being done at Dartmouth wasteful?

MR. GINGRICH: I was just emailing Andy von Eschenbeck, head of the Cancer Institute. Regarding these Prostrates, the U.S. Government is going to KILL people. Silly Governor Palin was right about those Death Panels.

MS. TUMULTY: Well, Congresswoman Bachmann, of course no one wants the government to come between a doctor and a patient, but do you think that Americans are getting the most for their money in Medicare spending?

REP. BACHMANN: Why, yes. Medicare. The very old and fragile beautiful American people. So just this last summer I asked Obama what his plan was to save old ladies, Medicare. He ignored me until the third time. He looked down at me with those mean, hateful eyes and seethed the word Obamacare. I think it should be Obama Don't Care!

MR. ROSE: We'll come back to Medicare..I want to talk about advisers and appointees. Governor Huntsman, who's advice to you seek on economic issues?

MR. HUNTSMAN: Those who build and manufacture like my dad and brother. So being Governor of the great state of Utah, I created the Flat Tax.

MR. ROSE: The flat tax you mentioned.. do you look with favor upon Mr. Cain's 9-9-9 plan?

MR. HUNTSMAN: Oh it's catchy. I thought he was talking about the price of pizza. No really, I did.

MR. ROSE : Price of a pizza? Excuse me?

MR. HUNTSMAN: So anyway, we need something doable. MY plan is doable.

MR. ROSE: Julianna.

MS. GOLDMAN: Thank you. We will be coming back to 9-9-9, but first --

MR. CAIN: Uh hello? Price of a Pizza??

MS. GOLDMAN: Well, but -- but --

MR. CAIN: He mentioned me -- should I sing?

MS. TUMULTY: Mr. Cain, who do you turn to for political advice and for economic advice?

MR. CAIN: Rich Lowry out of Cleveland. He is an economist.

MS. TUMULTY: Who?

MR. CAIN: Rich Lowry out of Cleveland, Texas

MR. ROSE: Julianna.

MS. GOLDMAN: Thank you. Governor Romney, it's 2013 and the European debt crisis has worsened, . What would you do differently than what President Bush, Henry Paulson and Ben Bernanke did in 2008?

MR. ROMNEY: Uh, that's hypothetical..

GOLDMAN: But it's not a hypothetical because more than half the --

MR. ROMNEY: It is.

MS. GOLDMAN: It's not -- Governor, it's not a --

MR. ROMNEY: Explain why that is not hypothetical.

MS. GOLDMAN: Because more than half the country believes that a financial meltdown is likely in the next several years, and the U.S. banks have at least $700 billion in exposure to Europe. So it's a very real threat, and voters want to know what you would do differently.

MR. ROMNEY: it's still hypothetical.

MS. GOLDMAN: But -- so would you -- so would you or would you not be open to another Wall Street bailout?

MR. ROMNEY: Nope.

GOLDMAN: But you said in 2008 that it prevented the collapse of the financial --

MR. ROMNEY: There is no question President Bush made the right decision.

MR. ROSE: So you agree -- you agree with Speaker Gingrich about Ben Bernanke, the chairman of the Fed?

MR. ROMNEY: I wouldn't keep Ben Bernanke in office. I'd choose someone of my -- of my own -- .

MR. ROSE: And who might that be? Specifics would be nice.

MR. ROMNEY: Well, I don't know. I don't even know if I'm a nominee yet? HAW HAW

MR. ROSE: It would be nice to have a clue what kind of people you would chose. This is a very important role. This debate, actually, is very important. Enough with all the jokes.

MR. ROMNEY: I like Greg Mankiw at Harvard.

MR. ROSE: Right.

MR. ROMNEY: We don't need all these hypotheticals.. I want someone smart. People who protect American jobs, like me, you know.

MR. ROSE: And as far as you're concerned, there's no institution -- no financial institution that's too big to fail.

MR. ROMNEY: Nope.. Don't bail out anyone. Michele's lookin' hawt tonight.

MS. GOLDMAN: Mr. Cain, back in 2008, you wrote that the Wall Street bailout was a win-win for the taxpayer. You just heard Governor Romney. Do you agree?

MR. CAIN: Conceptually I made that statement based on concept. I didn't agree with it.

MR. ROSE: Housing is considered one of the real problems in terms of our economy, and getting housing starts up --

MR. GINGRICH: Can I say one thing before we go to housing?

MR. ROSE: Yes.

MR. GINGRICH: Because I think this is really important. Back to that hypothetical.. there is a real possibility we could have a meltdown next year. End times are coming, folks.

MR. ROSE: All right.

MR. GINGRICH: Documents from the Fed need to be released! Beware!!

MR. ROSE: Back to Housing, would you get the federal government out of housing? Yes?

REP. PAUL: Absolutely

MR. ROSE: No Freddie -- no Freddie Mac, no Fannie Mae, nothing?

REP. PAUL: No, that's where the distortions come. So this housing bubble. We had too many houses. Doomed bubbles burst!

MR. ROSE: Time.

All right, we'll be back. Take a break and be right back. Stay with us from Dartmouth in Hanover, New Hampshire.

MR. ROSE: I want to take a look at a series of clips we'll show you in this segment, beginning with this one of a former president.
(Begin videotaped segment.)

FORMER PRESIDENT RONALD REAGAN: The single-most important question facing us tonight is, do we reduce deficits and interest rates by raising revenue from those who are not now paying their fair share, or do we accept bigger budget deficits, higher interest rates and higher unemployment simply because we disagree on certain features of a legislative package which offers hope for millions of Americans at home, on the farm and in the workplace?
(End videotaped segment.)

MR. ROSE: Let me go to the governor of Texas. Do you agree with the former president?

GOV. PERRY: Well, those were different times.

MR. ROSE: Back to my original question, the paralysis of Washington. This requires compromise, as Reagan suggested, correct?

MR. ROMNEY: Well, I -- I don't know what particular compromises he was referring to. Just stop spending.

MS. TUMULTY: But could we get back to the actual choice that is likely to confront Congress at the end of the year, which is some mix of revenues and cuts or these draconian automatic spending cuts that would include defense. Which of those two, if that is the choice, would you prefer?

MR. ROMNEY: Well, don't cut defense. That is terrible. And don't raise taxes. That is terrible. The President has a job's bill.

MS. TUMULTY: So this is --

MR. ROMNEY: How'd his last jobs bill work out for us?

MS. TUMULTY: But this is the automatic cut --

MR. ROMNEY: Not -- not so well.

MS. TUMULTY: -- HUH??

MR. ROMNEY: That supercommitte needs to reign in the scale of the federal government.

MR. ROSE: OK.

MR. ROMNEY: -- and reform our entitlements....
Grow jobs, Cut Government.

MR. ROSE: Without any increase in revenue?

MR. GINGRICH: I'd like to speak again. This is important. The President shows zero leadership and congress adopted a stupid bill. The bill says we are either going to shoot ourselves in the head or chop off a leg. We will show you how to chop off that bloody leg on Thanksgiving Day. Or shoot yourself in the head.

MR. ROSE: All right. Congressman Bachmann.

REP. BACHMANN: Charlie, I can call you Charlie, right? I was the leading voice in the Wilderness, last summer. That lone ranger of a voice calling out to the wild. Ahwoooo! Don't give Barack anymore money to spend!
We need to cut back on spending. THAT is the answer, Charlie. My nails sure are clicky!

MR. ROSE: Will cutting back on the spending --

REP. BACHMANN: Those beautiful, fragile young people will be paying for this burden, Charlie. Who's going to get out of bed and work when they have to pay huge taxes? Huh? Charlie?

MR. ROSE: Cutting back on spending, in your judgment, will do it?

REP. BACHMANN: Yes.

MR. ROSE: I want you to take a look at another clip; this one you will recognize as well. Don't let the nightclub act fool you.
Here it is.
(Begin videotaped segment.)

MR. CAIN: It's called the 9-9-9 plan. (Applause.) It imposes a 9 percent business flat tax, a 9 percent personal flat tax and a 9 percent national sales tax.
(End videotaped segment.)

MR. ROSE: Go ahead, Julianna.

MS. GOLDMAN: Mr. Cain, you said your plan is revenue neutral? You'd be slapping 9 percent tax rate on food and medicine.

MR. CAIN: The problem with that analysis is that it is incorrect.

MS. GOLDMAN: Well -- well --

MR. CAIN: You are making assumptions. 9-9-9 throws out the current tax code. Drive the economy, take risks and get sound money.

MR. ROSE: All right. Karen -- go ahead. I'm sorry, go ahead.

MS. GOLDMAN: But then explain why, under your plan, all Americans should be paying more for milk, for a loaf of bread, and beer?

MR. CAIN: I don't buy beer. Look, you have to start with the biggest tax Americans pay.

MR. ROSE: All right.

MR. CAIN: -- because there is no tax on used goods.

MS. GOLDMAN: But Congresswoman Bachmann, you're a former IRS lawyer. Do you agree?

REP. BACHMANN: Ha, yes. It isn't a job plan, it is a TAX plan. As my experience and being a federal lawyer, and all... A sales tax can lead to a value added tax. Take that 9-9-9 and turn that smile upside down.. it is WICKED!

MR. ROSE: All right. I have to --

MR. CAIN: You've got to let me respond.

MR. ROSE: We've given you several chances to respond.

MS. TUMULTY: Governor Huntsman, you were also ambassador to China, and you say that this would risk a trade war. So what do you say to people who ask, aren't we already in a trade war with China?
MR. HUNTSMAN: It's going to be the United States vs.China on the World Stage.

MS. TUMULTY: You know, Governor Romney, this issue does carry a lot of resonance, especially in states like New Hampshire which, as you probably know, has lost a greater percentage of its manufacturing jobs to China than any other state.Why should voters believe that you would be any different?

MR. ROMNEY: Those Chinese played people like a fiddle. Devil Went Down to Georgia? 9-9-9..6-6-6?

MS. TUMULTY: But is --

MR. ROMNEY: China the Cheats. They manipulate currency.

MR. ROSE: Let me go to Governor Perry and then governor -- then Governor Huntsman.
Governor Perry.

GOV. PERRY: We don't need 9-9-9 or 6-6-6. Energy Independence!

MR. ROSE: All right. I want to come back to these issues, but let me introduce -- speaking of CEOs and business -- this is a New Hampshire native. His name is David Cote. He is chairman and CEO of Honeywell, and he is a former member of the Simpson-Bowles commission.
Here he is.
(begin/end video)

MR. ROSE: Senator Santorum, we talked about jobs in Pennsylvania. A competitive agenda of yours would be what?

MR. SANTORUM: I want to beat China.

MR. ROSE: Yeah.

MR. SANTORUM: I'm not done yet. I've -- I've only been able to answer one question, unlike everybody else here, you are playing favorites.

MR. ROSE: Right. I mean.. go on

MR. SANTORUM: Repeal Obamacare. I was in small town, real America talking about how Obama is out to crush it.

MR. ROSE: All right.

MR. SANTORUM: We need to repeal it -- let me finis $&#@

MR. ROSE: Yes, you do, but you --

MR. SANTORUM: We need to repeal it --

MR. ROSE: We got that already

MR. SANTORUM: I know. Well, I'm --

MR. ROSE: Time. You see the red light. Time!

MR. SANTORUM: -- (spending up the ?) time. We need to repeal it !

MR. ROSE: All right.

MR. CAIN: 9-9-9 is bold!

MR. ROSE: Governor Romney.

MR. ROMNEY: KILL Obamacare
MR ROMNEY: Let me finish Let me finish! Let me finish!

MR. ROSE: OK. Let him finish, then we'll go to Huntsman, then we go to break. And then when we come back, each of you can question each other.

MR. ROMNEY: So as I was saying....

MR. ROSE: All right. Government Huntsman, then we go.

MR. HUNTSMAN: Mitt, your plan is not going to do anything.

MR. ROMNEY: I said Repeal it. Did you miss that?

MR. HUNTSMAN: Not the mandate..

MR. SANTORUM: The mandate has no teeth because there's no tax penalty

MR. ROSE: All right, we have much to talk about. When we come back, the candidates will ask questions of each other, after this break. (Applause.)

MR. ROSE: Welcome back. We're at the Republican presidential candidates' debate. -- and we're pleased now to turn around a bit and have the candidates question each other. They will each have 30 seconds to pose and answer -- will have one minute to respond -- 30 seconds per question, one minute to respond.

They'll proceed in alphabetical order. I remember that -- I want you to remember, as we talk about this, we're talking about the economy or those things that affect the economy. Specifics!

Beginning in alphabetical order: Congresswoman Bachmann.

REP. BACHMANN: Thank you. In the 80's, Ronald Reagan introduced a Miracle. An economic miracle. While we were wishing and yearning, YOU! Governor Perry was buddying up to Al Gore. Increase Taxes! Increast the debt! We are talking Trillions of Dollars, Charlie. How can we trust Governor Perry?

GOV. PERRY: Well, I like those in Texas and those people in the deep South, can I get an Amen? We grew up Democrat. So anyway, I know how to balance a budget and deal with spending issues and create jobs.

MR. ROSE: Herman Cain -- question.

MR. CAIN: Yes. The 9-9-9 plan is bold!
My question is to Governor Romney. Can you name all 59 points in your 160-page plan?

MR. ROMNEY: The Rule of Law.

MR. ROSE: All right.

MR. ROMNEY: -- Create Schools.

MR. CAIN: So no, it's not simple is what you're saying.

MR. ROMNEY: (inaudible).

MR. ROSE: All right. Speaker Gingrich, question.

MR. GINGRICH: Beware!

MR. ROSE: Governor Huntsman.

MR. HUNTSMAN: Since this discussion is all about economics, Governor Romney, I promise this won't be about religion. Haw, haw. How can you with the job creation debate given your background?

MR. ROMNEY: We started Staples, Sports Authority, Bright Horizons Children's Center. Steel mills.

MR. ROSE: All right. Congressman Paul.

REP. PAUL: Mr. Cain, you are critical of us who want to audit the Fed..you belittled us...

MR. ROSE: Question?

REP. PAUL: Sixty-four percent of the American people want a full audit of the Fed on a regular basis.
MR. ROSE: Mr. Cain?

MR. CAIN: My priority is 9-9-9- Bold!

MR. ROSE: Governor Perry, question for --
GOV. PERRY: Governor Romney, "Romneycare" and "Obamnycare" Sitting in a Tree

MR. ROMNEY: I am from Texas.
We have the lowest number of kids, as a percentage, uninsured, of any state in America. You have the highest. You have over --

MR. ROMNEY: -- I'm still -- I'm still speaking. I'm still speaking!

GOV. PERRY: -- I didn't say anything.

MR. ROMNEY: I'm still speaking! We have -- we have less than 1 percent of our kids -- they're uninsured. You have a million kids uninsured in Texas -- a million kids.

MR. ROMNEY: Congresswoman Bachmann
What do you do to help the American people get back to work, be able to make ends meet? You've got families that are sitting around the kitchen table, wondering how they're going to make it --

REP. BACHMANN: Well, you do realize I am a mother of TWENTY EIGHT Kids. Please visit MicheleBachmann.com and you can see my solutions. That is MicheleBachm....

MR. ROSE: Time.

REP. BACHMANN: DOT COM!

MR. SANTORUM: Four people on this panel that actually supported TARP -- wanting to constrict our very Freedom!
MS. : So do you have a question for one of them?

MR. SANTORUM: My question is, Herman Cain, how can we trust that you wont take freedoms away from freedom loving Americans?

MR. CAIN: 9-9-9
MR. SANTORUM: And by the way, the other three sneaks are Huntsman, Perry, and Romney.

MR. CAIN: First you need My 9-9-9- plan, then hold Congress' feet to the fire and then don't raise anything on the 9-9-9

MR. SANTORUM: You're not going to be president forever.

MR.CAIN: You think...
MR. ROSE: With that we take a break and come back for our final segment. Stay with us. (Applause.)

MR. ROSE: We are back at Dartmouth in Hanover, New Hampshire, talking with the eight Republican candidates about a variety of issues. Clearly, we come back to health care. I want to go to Governor Perry. Explain to me what you think the difference is about your health care ideas and Governor Romney's health care ideas and how you see mandates and how he sees mandates and the Constitution, because not only has there been some exchange here, Governor Christie got involved today.

GOV. PERRY: People sitting around eating and watching TV waiting for Ideas.

MS. TUMULTY: But Governor Perry, as The Washington Post fact- checker noted, Texas has had 16 waivers for Medicaid. So how can you say that the problem is that the federal government has not given Texas enough flexibility?

GOV. PERRY: I don't want to have to ask Mother every time I come up with a concept or an idea.

MR. ROSE: Julianna.

MS. GOLDMAN: Thank you, Charlie.
Mr. Cain, you disapprove of Fed chairman Ben Bernanke, and we all know that your priority is 9-9-9. So which Federal Reserve chairman, over the last 40 years, do you think has been most successful and might serve as a model for that appointment?

MR. CAIN: Alan Greenspan.

MS. GOLDMAN: Why?

MR. CAIN: He oversaw the fed back in the 90's. There are two candidates, which I cannot name, who should replace Bernanke.

MS. GOLDMAN: So you have two appointments waiting in the wings for -- for 2013, for this -- when his --

MR. CAIN: Yes.

MS. GOLDMAN: -- term is up, 2014?

MR. CAIN: Yes. I have two candidates waiting in the wings to take that job.

MS. GOLDMAN: How about a hint?

MR. CAIN: Nope.

REP. PAUL: Nice. Such secrecy. By the way, Alan Greenspan was a complete disaster. BOOM!
MR. ROSE: Congresswoman Bachmann.

REP. BACHMANN: Go to michelebachmann.com you will see I wanted to repeal Dodd-Frank. This is dirty dealing.
MR. ROSE: OK. Here, and then go over here -- first, and then there.

MR. CAIN: I agree, repeal Dodd-Frank.

REP. PAUL: I just want to add one quick thing. You know, Dodd- Frank, obviously, is a disaster.
I mean, if you look at what we've done as Republicans, we have caused a lot of problems. BOOM!

MR. ROSE: All right, I want to bring my colleagues in.
Karen?

MS. TUMULTY: Right. Governor Perry, taxpayers stand to lose half a billion dollars in the collapse of Solyndra, which is a solar energy firm that was a centerpiece of the Obama green jobs initiative. Do you think there were inadequate safeguards there, or do you think this is just the risk we run when the government gets involved in subsidizing new industries and technologies?

GOV. PERRY: Well, I don't think the federal government should be involved in anything at all.

MS. TUMULTY: Your own state auditor said earlier this year that that fund is neither accountable nor transparent. The Dallas Morning News reported that that fund gave $16 million to companies that are connected to your campaign contributors. And like Solyndra, some of the emerging technology fund investments have gone bust. So how is this different in principle from the Obama administration's efforts to pick winners in the future economy?

GOV. PERRY: Texas loves me.

MR. ROSE: All right.

MR. ROSE: Before a closing question, I want not this hour and a half to pass without some recognition and conversation about the question of disparity in America. Karen.

MS. TUMULTY: Governor Perry, over the last 30 years, the income of the wealthiest 1 percent of Americans has grown by more than 300 percent. And yet, we have more people living in poverty in this country than at any time in the last 50 years. Is this acceptable? And what would you do to close that gap?

GOV. PERRY: The reason so many people live in poverty is because of the President the job serial killer. We need to do everything we can to replace Barack Obama 2012. Can I get a Woot Woot?

MR. ROSE: All right, let me just --

MR. SANTORUM: There's more -- there's more to it --

MR. ROSE: OK, but we're almost out of time. I want to give you a chance, and then we have to go to a final question.

MR. SANTORUM: The biggest problem with poverty in America is the breakdown of the American family. We need to support family and encourage marriage....

MR. ROSE: All right. One last question as we close this evening, and each of you 30 seconds. What is it about you that you want to connect with the American people in their both despair and in their hope for the future that says something essentially about who you are? And I begin with Congresswoman Bachmann.

REP. BACHMANN: I'm so so sorry, Charlie.

MR. ROSE: It is about the individual. ... but I want to talk for a moment, as a last impression, a sense of what it is about you that you want to hear and let the American people know about you and your sense of recognizing their own pain as well as their hope? Basically why should we feel sorry for YOU?

REP. BACHMANN: Well, I do -- I grew up in a middle-class home. We went to below --

MR. ROSE: Thirty seconds. I'm sorry.

REP. BACHMANN: Well, we went below poverty when my parents divorced and my mom struggled so hard, Charlie. We all got jobs. All of us kids did. We were still kids but we worked our way through college and eventually my husband, who's not Gay, started a business. We save at-risk kids. You know the ones nobody wants? They are pitiful, pitiful children but I was their savior. I saved 23 of those type of children. The ones nobody wants. Worthless, pitiful.

But we what the world needs now is love, sweet love, Charlie. The more that we can do to love people, the better off the society will be.

MR. ROSE: And Herman Cain. Thirty seconds.

MR. CAIN: I can connect to people's pain. Heck, I'm the Pizza man. I was po' before I was poor. My dad worked 72 jobs all at one times. We need a bold plan.

MR. ROSE: Congressman -- Speaker Gingrich.

MR. GINGRICH: Well, look now I was an Army brat. I was always having to pack my bags and move. That is extremely painful. I know pain. I was an Army brat. But, look, we need a Leader that finds a Solution. But I sympathize with all the pain and decaying destruction.

MR. ROSE: Congressman Paul.

REP. PAUL: My goal is liberty, justice and the pursuit of all. Peace and Money. Money gives us prosperity. All you have to do is believe in liberty. BOOM!

MR. ROSE: Senator Santorum.

MR. SANTORUM: Uh, well I grew up in a steel town. Manufacturing is the ticket to life. That is pain.

MR. ROSE: Governor Huntsman.

MR. HUNTSMAN: Not only have I been part of a family business, but I looked in the faces of people who had the dignity of a job. I know pain.

MR. ROSE: Governor Perry.

GOV. PERRY: Charlie, as the son of tenant farmers and a uniform wearer, I created jobs. That's what the beggars want. Jobs. America is begging. Pain.

MR. ROSE: Governor Romney.

MR. ROMNEY: We've talked about a lot this evening but it's all about a brighter future for the kids. My experience will get our economy strong and grow the military. It's all about pain.

MR. ROSE: All right. I want to thank each and all of the candidates who sat at this table this evening.

Secondly, I want to thank Karen and thank Julianna for joining us.

END.