Wednesday, March 6, 2013

Politicalgates Commenters Answer: How Stupid IS Sarah Palin?

by Sunnyjane

The Palin/McCain McCain/Palin Republican ticket of 2008
It's hardly breaking news to state that words have consequences.  One need only reflect on the General Election of 2012, where idiotic ideas were spouted from the mouths of Republican Tea Party candidates on a daily basis -- such as legitimate rape and the presidential candidate's infamous take on the 47 percent,  My job is not to worry about those people.   (Just in case someone didn't realize it, both candidates lost.)

But Akin and Romney were, at least, telling the truth as they saw it.  Everyone got their meanings, and the American electorate decided that particular brand of thinking was not what the country needs.  

The Palin Phenomenon 

When John McCain chose Sarah Palin as his vice-presidential running mate in late August 2008, she had sixty-five days before the election to prove that she was deserving of the job.  When making his announcement, McCain saidShe's got the grit, integrity, good sense and fierce devotion to the common good that is exactly what we need in Washington today.  It didn't take long for most Americans to discover that she had none of those attributes.  Not only was she woefully inadequate for the position of vice president, she was not very bright.  That her adoring fans declared that they loved her because She's just like me lends credibility to the wide-spread belief that the intelligence level on her side of the aisle is frighteningly substandard.  

In the four-plus years since she and McCain lost, Palin has done absolutely nothing to reverse the impression that she is, and always will be, stupid.    

So Just How Stupid is Sarah Palin?

Sarah Palin is so stupid, she...


...proffered a graduation picture with the wrong colored mortar board tassel as proof that she finished college.

...decided that when God said How much brains do you want, she thought he said pains and  asked for very little.


...believes this proves her energy expertise: Oil and coal? Of course, it’s a fungible commodity and they don’t flag, you know, the molecules, where it’s going and where it’s not. But in the sense of the Congress today, they know that there are very, very hungry domestic markets that need that oil first,” Palin said. “So, I believe that what Congress is going to do, also, is not to allow the export bans to such a degree that it’s Americans that get stuck to holding the bag without the energy source that is produced here, pumped here. It’s got to flow into our domestic markets first.”

...and that this made her some sort of expert on the economy:  Ultimately, what the bailout does is help those who are concerned about the health care reform that is needed to help shore up the economy– Oh, it’s got to be about job creation too. So health care reform and reducing taxes and reining in spending has got to accompany tax reductions.


...can't understand that she could get what she wants if she were willing to learn something.


...that she faked a pregnancy (using scarves) to cover for her daughter's pregnancy. Then Palin stole her daughter's baby, which only enraged her daughter to the point where her daughter planned a second pregnancy out of revenge. To the Palins --The truth will set you free. 


...thinks The Holy See is a horse running at Del Mar.

...thinks elocution is what Texas does to retarded felons.


...when someone yelled "FIRE!" she said "who?"

...asked what time the midnight buffet opens.

...thinks the Alaska State Ferry System is a gay organization.  


...thought that "In what respect Charlie?" was a good answer to a question about the Bush Doctrine.

…thinks that getting attention for any reason means that she's still relevant and popular.

…thought that Paul Revere "rang those bells" on his midnight ride to warn the British that they couldn't take away our guns, even though she had just had a personal tour of the Old North Church in Boston.


...she thinks 'open' is a Cabinet position.

...she thinks Tawd is 'hot'!

...thinks 'Waterboarding' has something to do with fancy dives! 

Mitchethekid takes her an hour-and-a-half to watch 60 Minutes.

...thinks screen doors would save weight on a submarine.


...confirms that her meteoric rise as a national political figure and four-year free fall to a punch line proves once again that you can make a sow's ear out of a silk purse.


...thinks recycle is a setting on a washing machine.
...thinks exorcism is a new type of exercise machine. 
...thinks she's the smartest person in the room.  Sure, if it's empty.

...when she saw a sign that said Wet Floor, she did.
....that she calls Julianne Moore the poor man's mini-Me.

...could never get her credentials straight.  For someone who supposedly has a college degree in Journalism… oh wait, she later changed that to Communications, you simply hear the dog whistle ♪♫♫♪ inflection in her voice, not the garbled word salad she says. Look up Palinisms.
...merrily joined in the [Obama] birther conversation and bragged to Rusty Humphries on 12-3-2009 that she had shown Trig’s birth certificate – when in fact NO ONE has EVER seen Trig’s birth certificate, then or now!


…can't keep her lies straight.

…thinks dikes will stop an oil spill.

…really, really thought President Obama would consult  her about energy.

...treats the Bible like it is a buffet, just take the parts you like and spit/sneeze on everything else to ruin it for the rest (and there be witches! and socialists! and Obama!)

...defines corollary as some healthy and icky vegetable casserole dish that Moochelle is trying to shove down her tough Alaskan woman throat.

...still insists that Toad is the real catch of the day.

...thinks the Crock-Pot®  on her kitchen counter is where she’s supposed to store her stash of cocaine and marijuana.

...thinks Israel’s involvement in the West Bank was so successful that they should open an East Bank branch.  

Um...let's see.  Was Trig born in Wasilla or Anchorage?  This is hard!

Tengrain at Mock, Paper, Scissors
..."I spent a couple of sequesters at the University of Hawaii, but I preferred the quarter system, and could easily bounce it into the cup for another beer," Sarah Palin did not say…


...didn't know know what the VP's duties and responsibilities were while running for that very office.

...thought Queen Elizabeth was the Head of State in Great Britain.

...Shot herself in the foot by going against Ailes' advice to not respond to the Tucson shooting. 

 End Note

I am not a quitter!

As democracy is perfected, the office of president represents, more and more closely, the inner soul of the people. On some great and glorious day, the plain folks of the land will reach their heart's desire at last and the White House will be adorned by a downright moron.  H.L.Mencken 26 July 1920.  (Very grateful H/T to Ebbtide for this wonderful quote from Mencken!)


Many thanks to all those who participated in our review of Palin's stupidity.  I regret not being able to fit all the wonderful examples into this post.  Perhaps next time, eh?  After all, she shows no signs of going anywhere!

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