Jessica Ghawi ("Jessica Redfield"), 1987 - 2012
Jessica Ghawi, a young woman and aspiring sportscaster was killed last night in the shooting in Aurora, Colorado. The very last public traces of her short life can still be seen on her twitter page:
Although she is now gone, after having perished in such a horrible and tragic way, she still shares her thoughts with us, on her blog, where she wrote under the name Jessica Redfield. In her last post, she let the world know her thoughts after she survived a public shooting in Canada on June 3 this year.
This post by Jessica is haunting and will certainly be remembered forever, as will she herself by all the people who knew her. It is not a political post, but Jessica vividly describes the horror of suddenly being confronted with a tragic, shocking event which feels out of place and which should not happen to anyone.
I would like to repeat Jessica's post in full:
Late Night Thoughts on the Eaton Center Shooting
Posted by Jessica Redfield in Uncategorized on June 5, 2012
I can’t get this odd feeling out of my chest. This empty, almost sickening feeling won’t go away. I noticed this feeling when I was in the Eaton Center in Toronto just seconds before someone opened fire in the food court. An odd feeling which led me to go outside and unknowingly out of harm‘s way. It’s hard for me to wrap my mind around how a weird feeling saved me from being in the middle of a deadly shooting.
What started off as a trip to the mall to get sushi and shop, ended up as a day that has forever changed my life. I was on a mission to eat sushi that day, and when I’m on a mission, nothing will deter me. When I arrived at the Eaton Center mall, I walked down to the food court and spotted a sushi restaurant. Instead of walking in, sitting down and enjoying sushi, I changed my mind, which is very unlike me, and decided that a greasy burger and poutine would do the trick. I rushed through my dinner. I found out after seeing a map of the scene, that minutes later a man was standing in the same spot I just ate at and opened fire in the food court full of people. Had I had sushi, I would’ve been in the same place where one of the victims was found.
My receipt shows my purchase was made at 6:20 pm. After that purchase I said I felt funny. It wasn’t the kind of funny you feel after spending money you know you shouldn’t have spent. It was almost a panicky feeling that left my chest feeling like something was missing. A feeling that was overwhelming enough to lead me to head outside in the rain to get fresh air instead of continuing back into the food court to go shopping at SportChek. The gunshots rung out at 6:23. Had I not gone outside, I would’ve been in the midst of gunfire.
I walked around the outside of the mall. People started funneling out of every exit. When I got back to the front, I saw a police car, an ambulance, and a fire truck. I initially thought that maybe the street performer that was drumming there earlier had a heart attack or something. But more and more police officers, ambulances, and fire trucks started showing up. Something terrible has happened. I overheard a panicked guy say, “There was a shooting in the food court.” I thought that there was no way, I was just down there. I asked him what happened. He said “Some guy just opened fire. Shot about 8 shots. It sounded like balloons popping. The guy is still on the loose.” I’m not sure what made me stick around at this point instead of running as far away from the mall as possible. Shock? Curiosity? Human nature? Who knows.
Standing there in the midst of the chaos all around us, police started yelling to get back and make room. I saw a young shirtless boy, writhing on a stretcher, with his face and head covered by the EMS as they rushed him by us to get him into an ambulance. The moment was surprisingly calm. The EMTs helping the boy weren’t yelling orders and no one was screaming like a night time medical drama. It was as if it was one swift movement to get the boy out of the mall and into the ambulance. That’s when it really hit me. I felt nauseas. Who would go into a mall full of thousands of innocent people and open fire? Is this really the world we live in?
Police start yelling again “GET BACK NOW!” Another stretcher came rushing out of the mall. I saw a man on a stretcher, the blanket underneath him spotted with blood. Multiple gunshot holes in his chest, side, and neck were visible. It’s not like in the movies when you see someone shot and they’re bleeding continuously from the wound. There was no blood flowing from the wounds, I could only see the holes. Numerous gaping holes, as if his skin was putty and someone stuck their finger in it. Except these wounds were caused by bullets. Bullets shot out of hatred. His dark skin on his torso was tinted red with what I assume was his own blood. He was rushed into the ambulance and taken away.
More people joined the crowd at the scene and asked what happened. “There was a shooting in the food court,” kept being whispered through the crowd like a game of telephone. I was standing near a security guard when I heard him say over his walkie talkie, “One fatality.” At this point I was convinced I was going to throw up. I’m not an EMT or a police officer. I’m not trained to handle crime and murder. Gun crimes are fairly common where I grew up in Texas, but I never imagined I’d experience a violent crime first hand. I’m on vacation and wanted to eat and go shopping. Everyone else at the mall probably wanted the same thing. I doubt anyone left for the mall imagined they witness a shooting.
I was shown how fragile life was on Saturday. I saw the terror on bystanders’ faces. I saw the victims of a senseless crime. I saw lives change. I was reminded that we don’t know when or where our time on Earth will end. When or where we will breathe our last breath. For one man, it was in the middle of a busy food court on a Saturday evening.
I say all the time that every moment we have to live our life is a blessing. So often I have found myself taking it for granted. Every hug from a family member. Every laugh we share with friends. Even the times of solitude are all blessings. Every second of every day is a gift. After Saturday evening, I know I truly understand how blessed I am for each second I am given.
I feel like I am overreacting about what I experienced. But I can’t help but be thankful for whatever caused me to make the choices that I made that day. My mind keeps replaying what I saw over in my head. I hope the victims make a full recovery. I wish I could shake this odd feeling from my chest. The feeling that’s reminding me how blessed I am. The same feeling that made me leave the Eaton Center. The feeling that may have potentially saved my life.
This time, however, there was nothing which could save her.
Her brother Jordan describes on his blog what happened to Jessica and her companion Brent in the cinema:
At approximately 0215 CST, I received an hysterical, and almost unintelligible, phone call from my mother stating that my sister, Jessica Ghawi, had been shot while attending the midnight showing of “The Dark Knight Rises” in Denver, CO. I was able to contact the man that was with my sister, mutual friend Brent, who stated that they were in the theatre when an incendiary device was fired into the crowd and that shots rang out immediately afterwards. Brent further stated that he took two rounds and that my sister took one round followed by an additional round which appeared to strike her in the head. At this time, I do not have confirmation that she is alive or dead. Brent has been transported with non-life threatening injuries to a local hospital. I am on the next flight out of San Antonio to Denver and have already contact Aurora PD, operating jurisdiction, as next of kin.
(...) 1015 (local): This is what I have been told by Brent, who was with my sister at the time of the shooting. This will be the only statement that I will make on the events surrounding what appears to be her death.
Jessica and Brent were seated in the middle portion of the theatre when a device was thrown into the theatre that produced a “hissing” sound. The theatre than began to fill with smoke which is when patrons began to move from their seats. At that time, shots were fired. Brent and Jessica immediately dropped to a prone position for cover. Jessica advised multiple times for someone to call 911, which Brent immediately attempted to do. Brent then heard Jessica scream and noticed that she was struck by a round in the leg. Brent, began holding pressure on the wound and attempted to calm Jessica. It was at this time that Brent took a round to his lower extremities. While still administering first aid, Brent noticed that Jessica was no longer screaming. He advised that he looked over to Jessica and saw what appeared to be an entry wound to her head. He further stated that Jessica presented with agonal respirations. Brent then took what may have been his only chance to escape the line of fire and exited the structure where he then contacted my mother. Brent’s actions are nothing but heroic. The veracity of any other statements not issued by myself or Peter Burns should be questioned.
Her brother also posted the link to a video, uploaded to Youtube in December 2010, showing her as an intern sportscaster, and it is evident from this video that Jessica was a young woman full of life and joy and humour - and that she also was very talented.
The full video:
Twelve people died a horrible and unnecessary death last night, again, and many more will have to cope with the wounds and scars to body and soul for the rest of their lives. In addition, the families of the dead will have to cope with unbelievable pain which is likely to never end.
Was this killing avoidable? From a European point of view, I would certainly quickly answer in the affirmative, living in a place where gun crime is a very rare occurrence, and where guns are virtually absent from daily life, and from daily thoughts. But I do realize of course that the European way is not always the American way. As far as gun laws are concerned, the differences could not be greater. Americans will have to find their own solutions. I just hope that Americans will realize that it is time to act, so that people like Jessica are allowed to live a peaceful and happy life, instead of being killed in such a cruel way by a man who probably should not have owned the weapons he used in the first place. If nothing happens, such terrifying events will happen over and over again.
It does not seem very difficult to make a start. For example, the Aurora killer carried an AR-15 assault rifle, as one of the three weapons he had with him. This type of weapon would have been subject to the expired assault weapons ban ("Violent Crime Control and Law Enforcement Act of 1994"), as Think Progress reports.
We are talking about this rifle:
Why do civilians need to own this very dangerous weapon?
I am sure that the people who lost their lives in the killing last night in Aurora would ask the same question.
I would like to add this comment to the post which was left by our reader BfromC:
I was just listening to Progressive Radio while out and they were discussing gun control. They brought up the fact that so many other countries in this world have figured out how to manage this and avoid the gun violence. We in the USA are a deadly anomaly.
Bottom line - what is the problem with having people register and go through some checks, and banning the sale of the most destructive of the weapons?
To me the irony is that in many conservative states now, you have to go through many more hoops to register and be allowed to vote, than any hoops troubled and mentally ill people have to jump in order to murder people in a fit of delusion. They obviously have NO hoops to prevent them from their destructive purchases.