Countdown to Election 2012: Week Eleven in Review

by Sunnyjane

And lo, it came to pass that a great turbulence did descend upon a Land of Many Flowers that would wreak havoc throughout a vast kingdom of more than three hundred million souls, causing them to fall to their knees and cry out, "Mercy, have mercy upon us!"  

No, we're not talking about Hurricane Isaac here, this is about the swirling mass of fetid air coming from the Republican National Convention.  This gathering of crotch-scratching misogynists, racists, and dimwitted thinkers is nothing more than a celebration of greed and ignorance, a grand occasion being held to reinforce the GOP's image as a party that avidly promotes and holds fast to devious ideas and corrupt ideals.  From this bubbling cauldron of  anti-Americanism, Mitt Romney will emerge as the party's Supreme Being and align himself with a platform that can best be described as a veritable hairball of far-right-wing primordial values that will be embraced and championed by those with severely limited intellect.

Bedlam by the Bay

Sir Isaac of the Carribean could have saved his time and energy, as the GOP is quite capable of creating chaos all by itself, thank you very much!  A question that really needs  to be asked:  Who in the name of all you hold dear was responsible for scheduling the Republican National Convention in Florida smack-dab in the middle of hurricane season?   Answer:  Michael Steele, who it has been noted, was not invited to participate at this year's convention.  But moving on, the advance crew of the campaign has  proven themselves to be the masters of disorganization and discord.  

 Did you hear I ran away from Ron 

Paul's delegates in Tampa?

John Sununu, the Romney hack campaign's Rules Committee Chairman, caused a wee bit of a dust-up with Ron Paul delegates who objected to changes in the rules that had been pushed through that gave Romney expanded  authority over the Republican nominating process.  But before the Paul folks had a chance to submit their minority opinions, Sununu had left the building.

Needless to say, the power-grabbing rules were rammed through the committee.  Guess it was that I don't fully endorse Mitt Romney thingy from Ron Paul, huh?

Hi!  Do you like the look?
I call it Valley Trash East.

Mrs. Mitt was scheduled to speak to the delegates -- and the American public, God help us all -- on Monday, the first day of the convention.  The cuteness in this schedule is almost too much: the Romneys were to create the bookend effect with Ann giving the opening speech and Mitt ending the tiresome thing when he gives his acceptance speech on Thursday.  But alas, the best laid plans...etc.  Too bad someone didn't remember they'd been sent memos from the major television stations alerting them to the fact that they would not be covering the first day of the convention in prime time.  

Not to worry!  Ann will do her thing on Tuesday because the GOP is just skipping Monday due to Isaac.  I think the plan is to unzip Mitt the Stick even further so Americans can see he's not stiff.  No, honestly!

And by the way, where are the fashion police when you need them?  Mrs. Romney appears to be trying to copy Michelle Obama's casual style and instead ends up looking like Sarah Palin on a really bad wardrobe day.

Ack!  The hair protests!

The Donald was scheduled to do a You're Fired routine with a President Obama look-alike, but that got figured out about thirty seconds after it was announced that he had a big surprise for the convention.  Oh, those winsome GOPers!  Dontcha you just love 'em?

Trump was going to speak anyhow but his hair and hands said No!   Isaac would muss his carefully combed coiffure, and he has a press-the-flesh phobia.  Yes, this would-be politician thinks shaking hands is barbaric.  He actually said in his book: One of the curses of American society is the simple act of shaking hands... I happen to be a clean hands freak. I feel much better after I thoroughly wash my hands, which I do as much as possible.  

At least Americans will be spared some of the idiots during this convention.  Sarah Palin will be in Arizona slinging hash and as much vitriol-cum-sexiness as she can muster for another Mormon, Kirk Adams.  See that, Mitt?  She'll show you a thing or too about working to further that old White Horse Prophecy! Or, perhaps they're afraid she'll announce a third-party candidacy and they'd have to unplug her mike and turn off the lights.   

Others not invited to participate in this freak show include Michele Bachmann, Herman Cain, and Rick Perry.  Seems Ron Paul won't be attending, either, but he's going to get a video tribute because he's retiring from the House.  Now that should be a take-your-breath-away fifteen minutes of already stagnant air time.

They want no part of George W or Dick Cheney, either.  After all, there's been enough squawking about deficit spending and bailouts, no need to remind voters who actually caused that, right?
  
Not All the Idiots are Attending Camp RNC

Lost my place here.  Am I 

supposed to flip, flop, lie, 

or make stuff up? 

*Before he checked in at Vacation Bible School in Tampa, Mitt took an opportunity to add credibility to his not-fit-for-national-office persona.  Speaking to a hometown crowd in Michigan, he punched out the line: No one has ever asked to see my birth certificate — they know that this was the place we were born and raised.  As Politicususa points out, The birther joke was Romney’s weak attempt to knock the president’s campaign back on its heels.  It didn’t work.

That's right, it didn't work.  In less time and in far fewer words than it took Sarah Palin to answer Katie Couric’s what do you read? question, the Obama team threw it back at Romney with a very effective fifteen-second ad: America Doesn't Need a Birther-in-Chief. 

And unlike the Romney team, Team Obama actually knows how to spell the name of our country.  Is the Romney group mainlining an illegal substance over there, or have they simply outsourced their ad campaign  to China?


Moving on...

*In a terrific column from the New York Times, Timothy Egan points out that the House of Representatives wackosphere is replete with right-wing nuts:  Take a look around key committees of the House and you’ll find a governing body stocked with crackpots whose views on major issues are as removed from reality as Missouri’s Representative Todd Akin’s take on the sperm-killing powers of a woman who’s been raped.  Yep, he calls out all the usual suspects.

*Charlie Crist, former Republican governor of Florida, has endorsed President Obama.  In an op-ed, Crist wrote: I've studied, admired and gotten to know a lot of leaders in my life. Across Florida, in Washington and around the country, I've watched the failure of those who favor extreme rhetoric over sensible compromise, and I've seen how those who never lose sight of solutions sow the greatest successes.

*Don Dwyer, a Maryland state Republican legislator who believes that gays are a threat to children, got drunk and crashed his boat into another boat that was full of children.  Now, who's a bigger threat to children, someone who's gay or a drunken homophobic straight guy?

*Legendary Kochsucker Scott Brown, who is taking up valuable space in the U.S. Senate, is in a huff because his Democratic opponent, Elizabeth Warren, had the gall to speak out against his record.  The nerve of Ms. Warren!  How dare she!  [Personal memo to Scott Brown:  Now I’m not a politician, nor have I ever played one on TV.  But Senator, I was following this country’s elections before you had soiled your first diaper, so I have a teeny bit of advice for you: Grow the f**k up!  This ain't The Bobbsey Twins and Baby May playing at the seashore, you know.  If you’re not afraid of Massachusetts voters being reminded that you’re a job killer, a protector of tax breaks for oil companies, a defender of millionaires and billionaires who do not pay their fair share of taxes, and an opponent of equal pay and limited access to much-needed healthcare for women, stand up and say it yourself!]

*Unless they've changed the Constitution and didn't inform us, a police officer's duty is still to enforce the law ethically in the area under his jurisdiction.  Now maybe New Hampshire has a different set of laws, but a Republican running for sheriff in Hillsborough County says if elected, he won’t rule out the use of deadly force to stop “elective” legal abortions.  

*In Washington state, Republican Michael Baumgartner wants to be a U.S. Senator when he grows up.  The problem is, at age thirty-seven, he has the political savvy of an eighth grader.  After taking exception to an article about him, he sent reporter Josh Feit a personal email with a photo of a Navy SEAL that read, Josh, this is Pat Feeks, a Navy SEAL killed last week in Afghanistan. Take a good look and then go fuck yourself.

*From the News of the Absurd file, Todd Palin has signed on with All American Speakers.      It is rumored that his first topic will be What to Expect When Your Wife is NOT Expecting. 
    

*And in one of those unfortunate Oops-this-can't-be-good-for-my-campaign articles, The Washington Post calls Mitt Romney's budget proposal Garbage.  Or is that GarBAAGE?

*Just so no one thinks that Paul Ryan has recently learned to keep his stupid right-wing mouth shut, he recently called rape just another method of conception.  Now how does that jive with his buddy Todd Akin, who thinks that legitimate rape is a method of birth control?  I'm so confused!

End Note

Policies designed for the benefit of the dominating group bring harm and hardship for those who live outside the border of privileged circles -- George Romney, father of the Republican candidate for President of the United States.