Wednesday, August 8, 2012

Countdown to Election 2012: Week Fourteen in Review

by Sunnyjane

Oy vey! This ongeshtopt meshuggener is a shtunk!  A shlemazl!

An Idiot Abroad

Oh my God! is right, Mr. Netanyahu.  Mitt Romney is, indeed, a very wealthy crazy man, an unpleasant person, and a pathetic loser.   To garner a handful of Jewish votes in Florida and to prove to anyone who didn't already know that he will kiss Sheldon Adelson's, um, ring for campaign money, Romney seemed perfectly willing to bring about a reprise of the 1967 Six Day War while meddling about in the Middle East.

What's needed in these instances is a special Mitt's Mouth remote-controlled mute button.  He not only committed the international faux pas of declaring -- yes, declaring -- that Jerusalem is the capital city of Israel, but he further insulted the Palestinians by disrespecting their culture.  It is understandable that   Palestinians protested Romney's statement as racist, but a large Jewish group has asked him to apologize, writing in their seventeen-thousand-signatures petition: Your [racist and ignorant] comments were not a reflection of the values Jews, Americans, and our allies hold dear. We call on you to apologize to the Palestinian people for your willful lack of understanding of the facts on the ground and the racist assumptions behind them.  After Mitt told Fox News that he did not speak about the Palestinian culture or about the decisions made in their economy, the lying bastard shmuck wrote an article in the conservative National Review titled Culture Does Matter.  Things are getting pretty bad on the campaign trail when the GOP candidate lies to Fox Noise.

But while Mitt was warmongering in Israel by not quite slamming the Obama administration for its weak stance on Iran, the Israeli Deputy Prime Minister and Minister of Defense, Ehud Barak, was on CNN praising the Obama White House for being the most supportive administration throughout the two countries' diplomatic relations on matters of Israeli security:  I should tell you honestly that this administration under President Obama is doing in regard to our security more than anything that I can remember in the past.
Look, Ann; all these folks are severely Polish!

From Israel, Mitt flew to Poland with Ann dressed in her Laura Ashley knock-off bedspread.   At least a smidgen of the media clamor must have penetrated Mitt's skull because by the time he arrived he was not even looking at the press, much less speaking to them.  

But when the frustrated reporters, who after six days of travelling with the campaign, called out questions to Romney after his visit to the Tomb of the Unknown Soldier, his press aide lost it.  Rick Gorka harshly scolded the press pool by telling them they should have some respect; this is a sacred place to the Polish people.  When the weary media folks complained that the GOP candidate continually refused to respond to their queries, Gorka snapped, Kiss my ass! and Shove it!  Just the perfect thing to say in that sacred place.  Is it little wonder that Mr. Gorka is now taking a break from the campaign?  [Of course, it couldn't have helped Rick's temperament when, upon arrival in Poland, there were crowds chanting Obama!  Obama!]

Week Fourteen: The Good, The Bad, & The Pink Slime

*Let's Talk Taxes:  Harry Reid, the mild-mannered U.S. Senate Majority Leader who, when he gets severely riled up, may exclaim poppycock!, has told Americans that he  learned from a Bain Capital investor that Mitt Romney did not pay any income taxes for ten years.  Mitt retortedI have paid taxes every year and a lot of taxes, a lot of taxes.  Harry is simply wrong, and that’s why I’m so anxious for him to give us the names of the people who have put this forward. I wouldn't be at all surprised to hear the names are people from the White House or the Obama campaign or who knows where they’re coming from.  Harry Reid really has to put up or shut up.  [Memo to Mitt:  That's not how it's done, sugar.  When someone makes an intolerable accusation against you, it is your duty to prove them wrong.   And that could easily be done by releasing those tax returns, see?  Got that?]

Practically every GOP big mouth in -- and out-- of the campaign has called Harry Reid a liar, and the more they say it the wider Reid's smile gets.  RNC chairman Reince Priebus went so far as to call Reid a dirty liar.  Interestingly, the only person who has not called Harry Reid a liar is the man who has seen twenty-three years of Romney's taxes: John McCain.

*The VP Pickings Get Pared Down:  Mitt is trying valiantly to steer the media away from his taxes issue and his shambles of a trip abroad by dangling the vice presidential candidate carrot in front of them.  A key hint seems to be the announcement of some of the speakers at the GOP convention in less than three weeks. So far, John McCain, Condoleezza Rice, Mike Huckabee, Nikki Haley, Rick Santorum, Rand Paul, Jeb Bush, and Susana Martinez have been selected to spew their support for the GOP candidate.   Mentioned in another article are tea party good-for-nothings John Kasich and Rick Scott. 

Of course, there are a lot of victims left over, including Tim Pawlenty, Rob Portman, Paul Ryan  Bobby Jindal and charm-school-dropout and diplomacy-challenged Chris Christie.  No mention of Scott Walker, Bob McDonnell, or Sarah Palin.  (Heh)

*From The-GOP-Idiocy-Never-Stops Category:  Sarah Palin donned her tackiest outfit yet to stump for Sarah Steelman in Missouri.  (Spoiler update: Steelman lost.)
*Another NRA-funded massacre took the lives of six worshipers at the Sikh Temple of Wisconsin.  The gunman was killed by police.  [Update: A subsequent FBI report revealed that the shooter appears to have died from a self-inflicted gunshot wound to the head after being shot in the stomach by a police officer who responded to the scene.]  Far-right Christianista Pat Robertson concluded that places of worship are being attacked because people who are atheists, they hate God.  Thanks for clearing that up, Pat; I'm glad it wasn't because this skinhead had guns. 

*Ann Coulter denied that Chick-Fil-A's anti-gay stance is an anti-gay thing.  It's genuinely a pro-marriage position to oppose gay marriage.  OK then, we can forget that Dan Cathy, CFA's CEO proudly makes anti-gay remarks and has donated millions to anti-gay groups. 

*There was great joy in Arizona when a case of voter fraud was discovered.  Only one problem: the schemer was a Republican candidate running for supervisor of Pinal County who had been voting by absentee ballot for his dead girlfriend for five years.  Oops!

*While making a fool of himself in Israel, Mitt Romney praised their Universal Healthcare System -- which included the individual mandate.  *But, at least he waited until he returned home to insult the Israelis by saying,  What America is NOT is a collective where we all work in a Kibbutz [Oh dear...another foot-in-mouth disease flareup.]

*Romney got what we can all assume was a much appreciated endorsement during Week Fourteen: Porn star Jenna Jameson saidI'm very looking forward to a Republican being back in office. When you're rich, you want a Republican in office and then *Romney received the news that he has replaced Sarah Palin as the most hated politician in America.   

*GOP Rep. Steve King from Iowa speculates that President Obama's birth in Kenya could have been telegraphed to Hawaiian newspapers -- or some stupid crap like that.

Brief Olympics Update


Who is this man and why is he messing in my hair?   I want President Obama!


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