Saturday, October 29, 2011

Governor Palin Talks to Sean Hannity (satire)

Guest post by anne s

First published at her blog


Posted on October 20 2011 - 5:26 PM - Posted by: Iam Lazee


So, what else is going on today?
I’d like to see this as momentum for the “reconsider” crowd: “And there’s always the possibly that one of the ‘out’ candidates — even Sarah Palin — steps back into the ring, electrifying the anti-Mitt crowd
She's in people, so in.

If you read this article with blinders on, one could easily spin that even the urban Philadelphia Magazine concedes “maybe Sarah Palin was right about death panels.”
I said "Maybe"....

Governor Brewer’s new book, Scorpions for Breakfast: My Fight Against Special Interests, Liberal Media, and Cynical Politicos to Secure America’s Border, is out on October 25th and Governor Palin wrote the forward for the book, “calling Brewer a straight-talker who does what she believes is right even when it’s difficult.”

Don't start with the anger again. Madame Governor could not do what is right and run for President because her difficulties far exceed anything any of you could fathom.
Quit putting yourself on her level.

Onto her interview on Hannity.

Full transcript:

HANNITY: All right. Joining me now with the latest on the 2012 presidential race, former Alaska governor, Fox News contributor, Former almost Presidential Candidate, Former Runner Up Beauty Queen, Sarah Palin is back.

Governor! So good to see you. My your kitchen looks cozy and safe.
How's it feel to be responsibility free these days, Governor?

I mean, what a life! Sure wish I could hold my job from my kitchen table... heck! only have to show up every few weeks and still get paid a boat load! Must be nice, eh?

SARAH PALIN, FORMER ALASKA GOVERNOR: Good to see you too, Sean, and quit with the Kitchen safety net crap.. Greta already went there.
Sheez.. everyone is so jealous of me!

HANNITY: All right. Before we get to that, let's start with the death of Qaddafi today. It's gonna be far worse in the end, Governor. Do you perceive the same?

PALIN: Well, certainly we must cognac this revolving situation. The tyrant is gone, yes, BUT! what about those tribal islamists ? Did Obama think of that?
Hey, so it's so iconic, Sean, that those lefties had a beef with the late great Ronald Reagan, who people liken me, too, you know. Great hair, TV star,
.. I rode horseback, too. The real Lone Ranger.
Heck, I think the Lone ranger will be the title of my new book! Whatcha think? Haw!
So that criminal act happened and now Obama is all super cool and important.
Inconsistencies there now, Sean. Hypocrisy from those lefties.
I bet they even write left handed, too, therefore.
But anyway, yeah Qaddafi is dead. But there's always a revolving door. Got stuck in one once! Haw!

HANNITY: Yeah, Governor. I hear you. George Bush was also slammed. Obama was just, once again, going above and beyond what his authority entails.

PALIN: Yeah, so inconsistencies and murky waters, Sean. White House mumbo jumbo.
Business as usual! Lame Ducks all in a row! Ron Paul is at least trying to keep Obama sticking to the law.
You know Obama needs to be mighty careful, now, Sean.
Trying to interject himself in national affairs.. who does he think he is?

HANNITY: So Herman Cain. Or Herb.. so cute Governor. Herb the Ice Cream flavor of the month. You got 'em there Governor. So he's leading the team of GOP candidates.
Think he can sustain this rise?

PALIN: Oh yeah. See, he's not a politician. I mean he wants to be a politician, running for office, and all but he's still not. Who needs politicians?
He's rolling some balls, Sean. Balls and shackles. Monstrous Balls and Shackles, Sean.

HANNITY: Do you like that, Governor?
Obviously you've had time to look at it.. not a whole lot going on in your world these days, eh?
Kitchen table FOX gig.
Well, anyway, Governor.. what would you tweak?
This 999 plan?

PALIN: Oh yeah. I would tweak those monstrous shackled balls in order to get rid of crony capitalism!

HANNITY: Ok, Governor. One thing they certainly can do is what you've been telling us all along, Drill Baby, Drill! Drill hard, Drill now.. don't stop.. I'm...WE are almost there.. America is almost there, that is!
What do you think? Rick Santorum, at some point could break through? Rick Perry has a chance?

PALIN: Well, Newt isn't in junior high bickering. He obviously thinks Obama is a socialist. That's what he focuses on. Rick Perry is now embracing Steve Forbe's flat tax dealio.

So Sean, when I heard that! I got up still in my flimsy bathrobe, I might add, into the Garage sifting through my thousands of highly important Political books which I DO read, Sean. I found an old book from 1999 Forbes had written. I didn't even have to flip it open as I already had READ it, Sean. I knew it from cover to cover. That's the truth, Sean. So anyway, found this book.. in my garage.. bathrobe.. Newt doesn't bicker.

HANNITY: Nice! I could see you doing that. Oh I know you read, Governor.
You do a lot of things. Yes, you sure do.
But PERRY and his illegal immigration hiring that didn't happen. Your reaction?

PALIN: I love these primaries. I like watching folks duke it out. Tough, tornado's a comin' times, Sean.

And, you know Sean, it ain't Don't Spill the Beans, here, Sean..Ants in my Pants, OPERATION!
I mean we aren't tryin' to pull plastic funny bones out of a naked clown, Sean!
Here, now, and too, therefore, Sean!
When someone is beat up by the media a little bit their character shows through.

HANNITY: And no regrets on your part not jumping in?

PALIN: As sweet little Reporter Pusher Piper would say, Hell NO!
I like being able to play around and spur little fights here and there.
Those Republican Candidates are the ones who are shouldering it all.
I can stay up here in Alaska, and dig out old dusty books that I HAVE already read, Sean and just discuss things like that.

HANNITY: All right, Governor. Great to see you again as always. Thank you so much for your time and we appreciate you being with us I know you have a lot going on being responsibility free and all.. that was a joke! Kidding!

PALIN: Thank you, Sean. I'll be back. FOX loves me....


Note by Patrick:

Many thanks to anne s for allowing us to republish her post from her excellent new satire blog, a parody site for conservatives4palin! Hopefully we will be able to present more satire by anne s in the future!

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