By Anne S
First published at "Sea4Pee"
With ratings from last week plummeting through the roof, Bristol shares her life with us again this week.
She is a role model for all young women.
Episodes 3 & 4: Bristol, Book, Beach and the Dead Beat
Hi Everybody. I'm Bristol and this is my show.
The show of Me.
The Book of Me.
Levi wrote a book.
It's all my family talks about.
We really hate him.
"Willow, Levi wrote a book".
"What should we do about it?"
"We should call him again."
We've called him 70 times.
I tell him I'll be with my camera crew at the Bouncing Bear
I tell him if he wants to see Tripp he has to come.
Willow is hungry so we go out to eat.
"So, Levi wrote a book."
I was telling her how much I hate him and how awful he is.
Tripp tries to run away.
I didn't even need to get up.
I snagged him back like a fish.
"Levi's such a goon"
"We are running low on ketchup"
"Look what mean things your dad says to mommy."
"I'm going to call him again."
"He must really hate Tripp."
Now that I'm a star, photographers are always taking my picture.
He couldn't keep his eyes off me.
He only turned around and said hello to those LA girls
to be polite.
Tripp was really cranky.
Being a single mom is really hard.
I decided to cheer him up.
"Look! There's those people that hate me and Willow."
"Stick out your tongue and show them your hate!"
"We hate them them and want to punch them."
"What the hell is she doing to that kid?"
"Good Boy! We love you now!"
He got cranky again but I gave him his pacifier.
My life is so hard.
Willow left but came back.
Tripp hit her because he's cranky.
It is so hard being a single mom.
Even my dad tells me she is a good for Tripp.
I am very lucky.
We talk about Levi's book again.
I highlighted all the parts I memorized.
It's ok to talk bad about Levi in front of Tripp.
As long as I don't look at him, he can't hear me.
My mom told me that.
I don't think Levi is hot. I have Gino now.
"So, I was thinking that... like maybe I should change
my Facebook status to
in a relationship"
"What exactly does that mean?"
"That you'd be my girl."
"What exactly does that mean?"
I do charity work. It is so much fun.
I got to drove a fork lift all by myself.
I was really scared.
I don't know why more people don't volunteer like me.
I help people.
Levi has ruined my life.
My friends come over.
I read them Levi's book.
We had a blast.
I take my friends to the beach.
We don't swim.
They tell me they think I am cool.
"We love you, Bristol. Let's go shoot Levi's book."
We head to the shooting range.
Who does Levi think he is writing a book?
I take a practice shot.
"Did I hit anything?"
There's the book.
My arms are really fat so I put on my sweatshirt.
I take my sweatshirt off and hit it.
Shooting a book with a gun is not the same as book burning.
I didn't even have a match.
This is going in Tripp's scrapbook.
It's time to meet Levi at Bouncy Bear.
The camera crew is ready.
Willow calls this girl named Sunny that Levi is seeing
to make sure he comes.
"I'm so much prettier than her"
"Where is he?"
I tell the camera people to go home because he never shows.
He hates Tripp.
Willow and I walk home.
Tripp is still cranky but I still read him a book.
I'm so miserable.
Note by Patrick:
Many thanks, Anne S! You completely outdid yourself on that one. Well done! :-)