Friday, June 24, 2011

The Bristol Palin™ Brand

By Blueberry T

Now that Bristol Palin™ has trademarked her name, I guess it’s time to figure out what her “brand” is. Based on what is publicly known about her as well as our research, here are my thoughts on what her brand stands for:

Party Girl: Wild partying as a teenager, unsupervised by adults

Stoner: Abusing drugs and alcohol at a young age; Track told their parents that Bristol was a stoner, as she herself reported on MySpace in practically illiterate fashion

Slut: Bristol called herself a "slut" and our research indicates that she was widely known as "easy" and had multiple sexual partners (at least 7?) while still a teenager

Unwed mother: This is her main claim to fame, although of course it is as yet not acknowledged how many times she has been an unwed mother

Irresponsible mother: Continuing the use of drugs and alcohol while pregnant with her first child (by some accounts, even increasing her use of drugs and alcohol)


  • Getting paid to announce her graduation in the tabloids
  • Getting paid to announce her “engagement” on TV and in tabloids; then breaking up immediately
  • Getting paid to write a memoir at the age of 20 at a point when she has accomplished nothing noteworthy beyond being an unwed teen mother

Hypocrite (and Grifter): Getting paid $325,000 to promote abstinence while not being abstinent; "writing" a book promoting morality while not practicing moral behavior

Abuser: Slamming her son’s father and then-ex-boyfriend in interviews on national TV (aside from the abuse of Levi, the AK judge in the Wooten divorce called this type of behavior "child abuse")

Foul-mouthed bigot: Her foul language on Facebook about critics of her family speaks for itself, as does the idea of lifting her middle finger to those who criticized her on DWTS

Tramp (and Grifter): Getting paid to wear skimpy clothes and a come hither look, while writhing suggestively on national TV

Fake: Getting extensive plastic surgery done on her face and neck at the age of 20; also: fake author, fake abstinent teen, etc.

Guilty “innocent”: Blaming her son’s father for date-raping her, claiming she was too drunk to know what was happening; here is what Andrew Sullivan wrote about Bristol’s innocence.

Liar: Too many cases to document here, but suffice it to say that her new “memoir” should be in the fiction section.

What Bristol Palin™ is really selling: her body and her soul.


Leadfoot_LA, our resident marketing genius, added this:

In marketing we usually boil down a brand to 5 key brand characteristics that define that brand…I would say Bristol's are:

-- Promiscuous

-- Immature

-- Dishonest

-- Jealous

-- Insecure

NOT a pretty picture for a brand!


UPDATE (by Patrick):

This video is not about Bristol, but we wanted to post it straight away for two reasons: The Queen will hate it, and you will love it.

Update 2 (from BBT): Here are the new photos of a young Levi with a baby at Mat-Su; these were first posted at the Immoral Minority blog, with H/T to Gryphen and Greenfields321. Note: wearing a ring, no tattoo, no hospital bracelet (click to enlarge).

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